Sunday, December 18, 2022

Gillian and Caroline Go to Hebden Women’s Disco – Last Tango in Halifax Fan Fiction 1.6

For context please be sure to read the previous chapter, Gillian and Caroline Go to Hebden Women’s Disco – Last Tango in Halifax Fan Fiction 1.5

The full list of this Last Tango in Halifax fan fic episodes can be found in Last Tango in Halifax Fan Fiction.

SUPERMARKET. MORNING.

Gillian enters the supermarket. She sees Caroline pushing her shopping cart.

GILLIAN
Caroline!

CAROLINE
Gillian! Good morning!

GILLIAN
Just the person I needed to see.

CAROLINE
What’s up?

Gillian walks hurriedly to Caroline.

GILLIAN
(furtively) I need to tell you summat weird.

CAROLINE
You’ve slept with Mike.

GILLIAN
That’s not weird. That’s just normal for me.

CAROLINE
I wasn’t judging by the way.

GILLIAN
Wow, snotty, arrogant no more. It’s the new you.

Caroline’s beaming.

GILLIAN
Wait…summat’s different…did you and Charlie…

Caroline giggles uncontrollably and nods.

GILLIAN
(eyes wide, big smile) Wow, on your first date!

CAROLINE
Now, look who’s being judgmental.

GILLIAN
No! You didn’t see my face. (repeats what she said along with the wide eyes and big smile) On your first date! See? (points at her face) Big eyes. Big smile. I’m proud of you! (puts her arm around Caroline and gives her a big squeeze)

CAROLINE
I don’t think that’s something to be proud of.

GILLIAN
You know what? We haven’t had Sunday tea in a while. Let me host one this coming Sunday. Bring Charlie so the family can meet her.

CAROLINE
Okay. (giggles) I’ll ask her. Now, what’s the weird thing you were going to tell me?

GILLIAN
Oh that? (hesitates)

CAROLINE
You’ve piqued my curiosity. Now spit it out.

GILLIAN
(speaks in hushed voice) Well…when Magic Mike and I were you know…

CAROLINE
Uh-huh?

GILLIAN
He exclaimed…Charlie’s name.

CAROLINE
You’re kidding!

GILLIAN
I wish I were.

CAROLINE
Blimey.

GILLIAN
As it turns out Magic Mike is a martyr. Poor guy…carrying a torch for so long…for a girl he can’t have.

CAROLINE
We have our very own St. Mike of Yorkshire.

GILLIAN
I’ll build him a shrine.

CAROLINE
Yeah, you and his other devotees.

GILLIAN
Do you think she knows?

CAROLINE
I dunno.

Caroline surveys the cereal aisle. Gillian sees Alison and an on-duty Cheryl. Caroline reaches for a cereal box.

GILLIAN
Caroline, let’s get that later. (she pushes Caroline and her cart to hide in another aisle)

CAROLINE
What are you doing?

GILLIAN
Hurry! I don’t want to deal with those two.

Alison and Cheryl sees Gillian trying to hide. They walk towards Gillian and Caroline.

CHERYL
Well, well, well! Trying to get away are we?

ALISON
(chews gum) We know you’re good at that.

GILLIAN
What d’you want?

CHERYL
Nowt. Just wanted to say hello to Caroline.

ALISON
I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Alison. Gillian’s dead husband’s friend. (chews gum)

Alison extends her hand. Caroline politely shakes it.

CAROLINE
Hello.

CHERYL
Caroline is Gillian’s stepsister.

ALISON
I see. (addresses Caroline) Well, you better be careful of this one, love. You wouldn’t want to be on her bad side.

CAROLINE
I don’t appreciate you speaking about my sister in that manner.

CHERYL
Alright, ladies, we won’t take up anymore of your time. Come on, Alison. I’ve got some scrotes to catch.

Cheryl and Alison walk away.

CAROLINE
You have charming girlfriends.

GILLIAN
I don’t know why I attract the wrong sort.

CAROLINE
Why didn’t you tell me about Alison?

GILLIAN
I wanted to, but I couldn’t find the right occasion.

CAROLINE
How come this Alison is bothering you now?

GILLIAN
She has just returned from Australia, and made it her mission to be the bane of my existence.

CAROLINE
What has she been bothering you about?

GILLIAN
Eddie. (gives Caroline a telling look) She first reappeared at the sheep fair. She befriended Raff.

CAROLINE
Has she said something to Raff?

GILLIAN
I don’t think so, but Ellie’s acting weird.

CAROLINE
Has she spoken to Ellie?

GILLIAN
(furtively) She dropped by the farm a few days ago, but I wasn’t there when she arrived. Ellie answered the door. I don’t think she managed to say owt to her, but Ellie must’ve seen us arguing in the yard. Probably heard nowt.

CAROLINE
(surreptitiously) Do you think Ellie would say anything to Raff if she knew something?

GILLIAN
Would you if you were in her shoes? The thing is I’m between a rock and a hard place.

CAROLINE
I see what you mean. (furtively) You can’t ask her to see what she knows without risking revealing what she doesn’t need to know.

GILLIAN
Exactly.

ALAN & CELIA’S HOUSE, KITCHEN. MORNING.

Caroline is hauling groceries into Celia’s kitchen.

CELIA
Thanks for buying our groceries, love.

CAROLINE
It’s the least I could do, Mum. Thanks for babysitting Flora.

CELIA
So, did you enjoy your date with this Charlie?

CAROLINE
As a matter of fact, I did. (beaming) By the way, Gillian invited us for Sunday tea.

CELIA
I’m surprised she has time, with her minding the farm and teaching.

CAROLINE
Isn’t it great she’s found a teaching post?

CELIA
Alan’s over the moon. I’m happy too. Maybe she’ll return the money we loaned her so Alan and I could go on a holiday.

CAROLINE
Mum! I thought you’re over that? I’ll pay for your holiday.

CELIA
No, you’re missing the point.

CAROLINE
Gillian’s industrious, you know? She just had a bit of bad luck.

TEACHING FARM. AFTERNOON.

Gillian is in a teaching farm mucking out stalls with an unassumingly handsome, serious man in his mid-50s. The man has his head down occupied with cleaning the stalls.

GILLIAN
Could you believe we’re doing all this so (emphasizes) Doctor what’s-his-name can impregnate sheep?

MAN
(doesn’t look up) He’s called Murray. I believe it’s called artificial insemination.

GILLIAN
Should vets even be called doctors? And why can’t we just let nature take its course.

MAN
(looks up) AI has many benefits. You can have an unlimited breeding selection.

Gillian’s struck by how good looking the middle-aged man is even with his salt and pepper hair.

GILLIAN
(seductively) Ooh tell me more…is it just me or is it hot in here? (Gillian removes her jacket)

MAN
(not looking, busy cleaning) It could be hot flashes. (says it matter-of-factly)

GILLIAN
Ha-ha! Handsome and funny too!

MAN
(ignores Gillian’s statement) AI also saves on the cost of maintaining a ram.

GILLIAN
A man after my own heart.

The man shows no interest in Gillian’s statement.

GILLIAN
Maybe you should take over for (emphasizes) Doctor Murray. Save the school the cost of a vet. I doubt you’ll see him mucking out stalls.

MAN
Some people might just surprise you.

GILLIAN
I’m Gillian by the way. I’d shake your hand, but it’s…mucky.

Gillian shows the man her filthy hand. The man finally makes eye contact. He shakes her filthy hand without hesitation.

MAN
I’m Adrian.

Gillian smiles ear-to-ear. The director of the farm school, a middle-aged balding man with a bad comb-over arrives.

DIRECTOR
Oh good! Dr. Murray, I see you’ve met Gillian. She’ll be assisting you at your AI class today.

CAROLINE’S HOUSE. AFTERNOON.

John knocks on Caroline’s door.

CAROLINE
John.

JOHN
Is she here?

CAROLINE
Who?

JOHN
Your new woman.

CAROLINE
Will you leave if she is?

JOHN
Okay, I’ll come back later.

CAROLINE
No, I meant leave leave. Leave for good.

JOHN
This isn’t a conversation we should be having at your doorstep. Can I come in?

Caroline relents and lets John inside her house. John peers looking for Caroline’s new woman, and realizes there’s no one else in the house.

CAROLINE
You weren’t here last night.

JOHN
You missed me?

CAROLINE
Don’t be ridiculous. You weren’t here, which means you had some place to go.

JOHN
I was at Judith’s.

CAROLINE
Oh good! You’re back together.

JOHN
I didn’t say that.

CAROLINE
You can move back to her house.

JOHN
She’d rather you move in with her.

CAROLINE
Oh, she’s told you.

JOHN
You don’t fancy her, do you?

CAROLINE
Absolutely not!

JOHN
Glad that’s clear. What’s for dinner? I’m famished.

CAROLINE
John, I’m serious. You need to move out.

Read continuation in the next Last Tango in Halifax fan fiction episode: Gillian and Caroline Go to Hebden Women’s Disco – Last Tango in Halifax Fan Fiction 1.7

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