Thursday, January 13, 2022

Gillian and Caroline Go to Hebden Women’s Disco – Last Tango in Halifax Fan Fiction 1.2

For context please be sure to read the previous chapter, Gillian and Caroline Go to Hebden Women’s Disco – Last Tango in Halifax Fan Fiction 1.1, where Caroline meets Mrs. Wilson.

The full list of this Last Tango in Halifax fan fic episodes can be found in Last Tango in Halifax Fan Fiction.

FAR SLACK FARM. AFTERNOON.

GILLIAN giddy with excitement rings CAROLINE.

GILLIAN
Have you seen the Courier?

CAROLINE’S OFFICE, SCHOOL.

CAROLINE
No, I haven’t. I’ve had a mad morning.
Why? Is Gary in it again?

GILLIAN
No, summat better! Check your phone. I’ve sent you a text.

CAROLINE checks GILLIAN’s text. It’s a photograph of an article on the Courier entitled “Fiery Love” along with a photo of Barb kissing an aghast CAROLINE.

CAROLINE
Oh shit! How is this better? Hashtag MeToo.

GILLIAN
So, no sparks then? Sorry, bad metaphor.

HELEN arrives with CAROLINE’s tea. GILLIAN is reading the article out loud. CAROLINE covers the mouthpiece and addresses HELEN.

CAROLINE
Thank you, Helen.

CAROLINE puts her phone on mute.

CAROLINE
Did you make one for yourself?

HELEN whispers not wanting to be too much of an intrusion with CAROLINE’s phone call.

HELEN
No. I’m on a cleansing diet...

CAROLINE
It’s all right. It’s just Gillian, my stepsister, and I’m on mute.

HELEN resumes speaking in her normal voice.

HELEN
Oh. I’ve started this strict cleansing diet this weekend so I can fit into the unflattering dress for my cousin’s wedding.
You’re going, right? He’s like a brother to me.

CAROLINE
Oh yes, yes. I’ll be there, Helen. Thanks for inviting me.

HELEN
Are you going to bring, Barb?

CAROLINE
Oh! You’ve seen the Courier.

GILLIAN
(on phone)
Hello?

HELEN
You’re in the Courier too?

CAROLINE
Wait, what? Where did you find out about Barb?

HELEN
Your video is on Facebook.

CAROLINE
Video? What video?

GILLIAN
(on phone)
Hello? Caroline, are you still there?

CAROLINE unmutes her phone.

CAROLINE
(to the phone)
Yes, GILLIAN, I’m still here.
Apparently, there’s a video of Barb and I on Facebook.

GILLIAN
Really?!

GILLIAN laughs out loud.

CAROLINE
It’s not the least bit funny, Gillian.
Helen, could you show me the video?

GILLIAN (on phone)
I want to see it too. What does it say on the post?
Maybe Raff can find it for me later. I’m not on Facebook.

CAROLINE’s not listening to GILLIAN. She stands beside HELEN.

On GILLIAN she starts searching Google for the video.

HELEN
Sure. My cousin shared it. The post is from one of his friends who was at the disco. My cousin says it’s life-affirming.

HELEN and CAROLINE watch the video posted on Facebook, which starts with CAROLINE rolling flaming Barb over and over, and ends with the disco erupting in cheers.

CAROLINE
Oh God! I’m mortified.

HELEN
I think it’s uplifting.

CAROLINE
Thanks, Helen. You’re being kind. Just so you know, Barb and I aren’t together. I was only there, ‘cause Gillian dragged me.

HELEN
Right. I’ve been meaning to ask all morning, but you’re so busy.
How are your hands?

CAROLINE looks at her heavily bandaged hands.

CAROLINE
They’re fine. It’s nice of you to ask.
They’re healing much better than my ego.

HELEN laughs.

HELEN
I don’t know what you’re so embarrassed about
What you did is quite heroic.

GILLIAN
(on phone)
Caroline?! You still there?

HELEN could hear GILLIAN on the phone.

CAROLINE
I’d better get back to Gillian. Thanks again, Helen.

HELEN
You’re welcome. Holler if you need me.

HELEN leaves CAROLINE’s office. CAROLINE unmutes her phone.

CAROLINE
So, did you find the video on Google?

GILLIAN
No. So disappointing.

CAROLINE
Great! I find that comforting.

GILLIAN
Maybe I’m just not using the right keywords.
What did it say on the post?

CAROLINE’s calendar notification pops on her computer.

CAROLINE
I’ve got to go. I have a meeting.

GILLIAN’s too busy Googling.

GILLIAN
Okay, bye.

CAROLINE
Bye.

CAROLINE puts the phone down, and walks over to HELEN’s desk.

CAROLINE
Helen, do you have...

CAROLINE finds HELEN passed out on the floor.

CAROLINE
Helen!

CAROLINE comes to her aid, phones an ambulance, and the school nurse.

CAROLINE’S SCHOOL, CAR PARK.

CAROLINE meets the paramedics at the school’s entrance, and leads the way.

CAROLINE
Helen, the patient, is in my office with the school nurse.
She’s conscious now, but weak.

FEMALE PARAMEDIC
Okay. Do you know anything about her medical history?

CAROLINE
Unfortunately, no, other than she started a strict cleansing diet this weekend.

FEMALE PARAMEDIC
Thank you, that’s helpful.

CAROLINE’S OFFICE, SCHOOL.

The paramedics do their routine examination, and wheel HELEN out of Caroline’s office in a gurney. CAROLINE speaks to one of her staff.

CAROLINE
Janet, would you mind riding the ambulance with Helen?
I’ll drop by the hospital after work, and drive you home.

JANET
I don’t mind at all. I’ll get her things.

CAROLINE
Thank you. I’d better ring her husband. Let me just get an update.

CAROLINE catches up with the paramedics, and walks with them as they bring HELEN down to the ambulance.

CAROLINE
Is she going to be all right?

FEMALE PARAMEDIC
Yes, she’ll be fine. Caroline, right?

CAROLINE suddenly realizes it’s the same attractive pair of paramedics from Hebden Women’s Disco.

CAROLINE
Yes. Yes, I’m Caroline.

FEMALE PARAMEDIC
We should stop meeting this way. I’m Charlie.
I treated you at the disco. How are your hands?

CAROLINE becomes slightly embarrassed, and at the same time notices how effortlessly beautiful the early-30’s paramedic is even in her unsightly Hi Vis uniform.

CAROLINE
Oh they’re better. Thanks for asking.

They arrive at the ambulance. CHARLIE and her colleague haul HELEN into the ambulance. The male paramedic hops out, and makes his way to the driver’s seat. JANET boards the ambulance.

CAROLINE
I’m about to ring her husband.
Is there any information I can share with him?

CHARLIE
Helen here is going to be fine. She appears to be dehydrated.
We’ve administered fluid bolus for rehydration.
They’ll run further tests at the hospital for good measure.
She’ll be all right.

CAROLINE
Thank you. I appreciate the details.

CHARLIE pulls a card from her pocket, and quickly scribbles something.

CHARLIE
(rambles)
I’ve never done this. It’s probably not even ethical.

CHARLIE hands her card to CAROLINE

CHARLIE
Here’s my number...

CAROLINE accepts the business card she has been handed. CHARLIE’s personal mobile number is scribbled on the back.

CHARLIE
In case you need help dressing your wound
(hesitates, says it anyway)
or need a dance partner.

CAROLINE
I already have your number. 999.

CHARLIE
Ha!
(smiles unsure if she had just been rejected)
I’ve got to go. Bye.

CAROLINE
Bye.

CAROLINE watches the ambulance leave. There’s a smile on her face.

CAROLINE’S SCHOOL

CAROLINE makes her way back to her office elated at the knowledge of a lovely younger woman taking an interest in her. She enters her office.

CAROLINE
Ruth!

The sight of RUTH startles CAROLINE, having forgotten their scheduled meeting. CAROLINE feels like someone caught in a compromising position given her previous thoughts.

RUTH
What happened to your hands?

RUTH takes CAROLINE’s heavily bandaged hands with a show of concern. CAROLINE’s feelings are in a jumble, confused at the brewing desire for the woman who humiliated her with ferocious meanness.

CAROLINE
It’s a long story.

CAROLINE snatches back her hands.

CAROLINE
I have to reschedule our meeting. I’ve got a thousand and one things to do. I’ve got to ring Helen’s husband, arrange for someone to fetch Flora, visit Helen at the hospital, and drive Janet home.

CAROLINE’s feeling self-conscious.

CAROLINE
Home to her house. Not mine.

RUTH
Would you like me to go with you?

CAROLINE
No!
(she realizes the abruptness of her response and softens her tone.)
No, thank you. That won’t be necessary.
Sorry, I really need to ring Helen’s husband now.

RUTH
Right, sure, I’ll leave you be.

CAROLINE watches RUTH leave her office, and sighs.

JUDITH’S HOUSE, KITCHEN. AFTERNOON.

JOHN follows JUDITH to the kitchen.

JUDITH
So what’s happened to Caroline?
She’s the only reason I let you in.

JOHN is too consumed with his troubles to absorb the implications of JUDITH’s statement.

JOHN
Caroline has a new woman.

JUDITH
What?

JOHN
Lawrence showed me a video of them.

JUDITH
When? How?

JOHN’s not really listening.

JOHN
It’s gone viral.

JUDITH
Where?

JOHN
At a women’s disco.

JUDITH now at the kitchen counter starts typing on her laptop.

JUDITH
Could you be more specific?

JOHN
How many women’s discos are there in West Yorkshire?

JUDITH
I’ll have Laura find it.

JOHN
I thought you’ve sent her to Outer Mongolia.

JUDITH
She has proven her loyalty to me. She’s quite an asset really.
Don’t tell her I said that.

JOHN
Charming. Maybe she’ll write a book about you.

JUDITH
So where’s Caroline now?

JOHN
Probably at the hospital.

JUDITH
Hospital?! Is she all right?

JOHN
Yes, yes, one of her staff fell ill.

JUDITH
So who’s picking up Flora?

JOHN
Who knows? Why do you care?

JUDITH
Aren’t you priceless?
Caroline’s rushing to the hospital,
and you don’t offer help with childcare.

JOHN
Flora’s not my child. She didn’t ask.

JUDITH
Does she have to ask?
That’s the trouble with you, John. You don’t take action.

JOHN scoffs.

JUDITH
You retreat into your mind.

JOHN
Well, my mind is more amusing than some people I know.

JUDITH
Why are you here anyway?
Don’t you have people to bother other than me, Caroline, and Gillian?

JOHN
That Gillian! She’s the one who dragged Caroline to the disco.
I heard her bugging Caroline about it at the funeral reception.
Utterly inappropriate.

JUDITH
If I were you, I’d make myself useful.

JOHN
Useful.

You could see a lightbulb go on JOHN’s head.

FAR SLACK FARM. EVENING.

CAROLINE arrives at GILLIAN’s house. They head to the kitchen.

CAROLINE
Thanks for picking up and babysitting, Flora.

GILLIAN
No problem. We saved you some food.

CAROLINE
That’s thoughtful of you.

GILLIAN
Is Helen all right?

CAROLINE
Yes, she’s fine. They just need to replenish her electrolytes.
She’ll be discharged later tonight.

GILLIAN
Good to hear it. Where’s John?

CAROLINE
I haven’t a clue where he is. He rang this afternoon.

GILLIAN
And didn’t offer to fetch Flora?

CAROLINE
It sounded like he was driving.
I wouldn’t want him to fetch Flora anyway.
He’ll think I need him.

GILLIAN
Right.

CAROLINE
He’d think I want him around and never leave.

GILLIAN goes to the sink. CAROLINE removes her hand from her pocket. CHARLIE’s business card falls on the floor. GILLIAN returns to the kitchen table.

GILLIAN
You dropped something.

GILLIAN picks up the business card, and sees the scribble on the back.

GILLIAN
Who’s Charlie? I didn’t know people still give out business cards.

CAROLINE
It’s one of the paramedics who treated Helen.
(she pretends to say it with insouciance)
It’s the same pair at the disco.
(she surprised herself by adding that detail)

GILLIAN
You mean the Adonis incarnate?

CAROLINE is relieved GILLIAN did not catch on.

GILLIAN
I can’t believe that hot thing gave you his number.
The girl’s attractive too. I thought they were strippers.
The ones you get for hen night.

CAROLINE
Is he hot?

GILLIAN
Hell yeah! You didn’t notice?
You really are a lesbian. Can I keep this?

GILLIAN waves CHARLIE’s business card.

GILLIAN
Since you know...you’re batting for the other team.

CAROLINE
Sure, but...
(hesitates)
Charlie’s the girl.

GILLIAN is thrilled to hear this development.

GILLIAN
Really?! That’s great! Good for you!

CAROLINE giggles.

GILLIAN
(says it in a singsong)
Caroline’s got a suitor.

CAROLINE
Why do I even tell you these things?

GILLIAN
‘Cause I’m your sista! Soul sista!

CAROLINE
She must be twenty years younger than me, Lady Marmalade.

GILLIAN
So what? That never stopped me.

CAROLINE’s got a niggle though. One she needs to express.

CAROLINE
Oh, what a day.
Ruth was in my office after Helen’s emergency.

GILLIAN
Oh? I thought that ship has sailed.

CAROLINE
She was there for a work meeting, which I had to reschedule.

GILLIAN
Good. Okay.

GILLIAN’s intrigued.

CAROLINE
She was affectionate.

GILLIAN
I thought she’s not gay.

CAROLINE
She implied she’s not...gay.

GILLIAN
You still fancy her? After all the things she said? And put you through?

CAROLINE
I don’t know. It’s all confusing.

GILLIAN
I think you’re attracted to people you think you can fix...save.

CAROLINE
Oh, how so, Dr. Gill?

GILLIAN
Well, there’s John. He’s such a twat.

CAROLINE
Can’t argue with that.

CAROLINE appreciates GILLIAN. It’s great they can talk like this

CAROLINE
John is perpetually aimlessly adrift.

GILLIAN
Yeah, and he relies on you to anchor him.
Then there’s Ruth. Mad bitch.
She seems as bonkers as her husband.
It takes one to know one. I’d know.

CAROLINE
You’re quite perceptive...for someone
who spends more time around sheep than people.

GILLIAN
I draw from my years of experience at t’supermarket checkout
You meet all sorts of people there.

CAROLINE
Well, you’re missing one person in your analysis, Dr. Gill. Kate.
(pensive)
She was perfect. She saved me.

CAROLINE holds back tears. Tries not to cry.

GILLIAN
Yes. Kate was perfect. She’s the anomaly.
But...didn’t you say she could’ve done more career-wise?
So...you still found something.

CAROLINE
Oh, good Lord. What’s wrong with me?

GILLIAN
Our time is about up. We’ll pick it up at our next session.
(chuckles)
So are you going to ring Charlie?

GILLIAN returns CHARLIE’s business card to CAROLINE.

CAROLINE
Maybe.

GILLIAN
Well, we’ve made progress then.
Maybe is better than a flat-out no.

CAROLINE stares at CHARLIE’s number. She’s jubilant, uplifted. Most of all, she feels desirable.

Read continuation in the next Last Tango in Halifax fan fiction episode: Gillian and Caroline Go to Hebden Women’s Disco – Last Tango in Halifax Fan Fiction 1.3

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