For context please be sure to read the previous chapter, Gillian and Caroline Go to Hebden Women’s Disco – Last Tango in Halifax Fan Fiction 1.1, where Caroline meets Mrs. Wilson.
The full list of this Last Tango in Halifax fan fic episodes can be found in Last Tango in Halifax Fan Fiction.
FAR SLACK FARM. AFTERNOON.
GILLIAN giddy with excitement rings CAROLINE.
Have you seen the Courier?
CAROLINE’S OFFICE, SCHOOL.
No, I haven’t. I’ve had a mad morning.
Why? Is Gary in it again?
No, summat better! Check your phone. I’ve sent you a text.
CAROLINE checks GILLIAN’s text. It’s a photograph of an article on the Courier entitled “Fiery Love” along with a photo of Barb kissing an aghast CAROLINE.
Oh shit! How is this better? Hashtag MeToo.
So, no sparks then? Sorry, bad metaphor.
HELEN arrives with CAROLINE’s
tea. GILLIAN is reading the article out loud. CAROLINE covers the mouthpiece
and addresses HELEN.
Thank you, Helen.
CAROLINE puts her phone on mute.
Did you make one for yourself?
HELEN whispers not wanting to be too much of an intrusion with CAROLINE’s phone call.
No. I’m on a cleansing diet...
It’s all right. It’s just Gillian, my stepsister, and I’m on mute.
HELEN resumes speaking in her normal voice.
Oh. I’ve started this strict cleansing diet this weekend so I can fit into the unflattering dress for my cousin’s wedding.
You’re going, right? He’s like a brother to me.
Oh yes, yes. I’ll be there, Helen. Thanks for inviting me.
Are you going to bring, Barb?
Oh! You’ve seen the Courier.
(on phone)
Hello?
You’re in the Courier too?
Wait, what? Where did you find out about Barb?
Your video is on Facebook.
Video? What video?
(on phone)
Hello? Caroline, are you still there?
CAROLINE unmutes her phone.
(to the phone)
Yes, GILLIAN, I’m still here.
Apparently, there’s a video of Barb and I on Facebook.
Really?!
GILLIAN laughs out loud.
It’s not the least bit funny, Gillian.
Helen, could you show me the video?
I want to see it too. What does it say on the post?
Maybe Raff can find it for me later. I’m not on Facebook.
CAROLINE’s not listening to GILLIAN. She stands beside HELEN.
On GILLIAN she starts searching Google for the video.
Sure. My cousin shared it. The post is from one of his friends who was at the disco. My cousin says it’s life-affirming.
HELEN and CAROLINE watch the video posted on Facebook, which starts with CAROLINE rolling flaming Barb over and over, and ends with the disco erupting in cheers.
Oh God! I’m mortified.
I think it’s uplifting.
Thanks, Helen. You’re being kind. Just so you know, Barb and I aren’t together. I was only there, ‘cause Gillian dragged me.
Right. I’ve been meaning to ask all morning, but you’re so busy.
How are your hands?
CAROLINE looks at her heavily bandaged hands.
They’re fine. It’s nice of you to ask.
They’re healing much better than my ego.
HELEN laughs.
I don’t know what you’re so embarrassed about
What you did is quite heroic.
(on phone)
Caroline?! You still there?
HELEN could hear GILLIAN
on the phone.
I’d better get back to Gillian. Thanks again, Helen.
You’re welcome. Holler if you need me.
HELEN leaves CAROLINE’s
office. CAROLINE unmutes her phone.
So, did you find the video on Google?
No. So disappointing.
Great! I find that comforting.
Maybe I’m just not using the right keywords.
What did it say on the post?
CAROLINE’s calendar
notification pops on her computer.
I’ve got to go. I have a meeting.
GILLIAN’s too busy Googling.
Okay, bye.
Bye.
CAROLINE puts the phone down, and walks over to HELEN’s
desk.
Helen, do you have...
CAROLINE finds HELEN
passed out on the floor.
Helen!
CAROLINE comes to her
aid, phones an ambulance, and the school nurse.
CAROLINE’S SCHOOL, CAR
PARK.
CAROLINE meets the
paramedics at the school’s entrance, and leads the way.
Helen, the patient, is in my office with the school nurse.
She’s conscious now, but weak.
Okay. Do you know anything about her medical history?
Unfortunately, no, other than she started a strict cleansing diet this weekend.
Thank you, that’s helpful.
CAROLINE’S OFFICE, SCHOOL.
The paramedics do their
routine examination, and wheel HELEN out of Caroline’s office in a gurney. CAROLINE
speaks to one of her staff.
Janet, would you mind riding the ambulance with Helen?
I’ll drop by the hospital after work, and drive you home.
I don’t mind at all. I’ll get her things.
Thank you. I’d better ring her husband. Let me just get an update.
CAROLINE catches up with the paramedics, and walks with
them as they bring HELEN down to the ambulance.
Is she going to be all right?
Yes, she’ll be fine. Caroline, right?
CAROLINE suddenly
realizes it’s the same attractive pair of paramedics from Hebden Women’s Disco.
Yes. Yes, I’m Caroline.
We should stop meeting this way. I’m Charlie.
I treated you at the disco. How are your hands?
CAROLINE becomes
slightly embarrassed, and at the same time notices how effortlessly beautiful
the early-30’s paramedic is even in her unsightly Hi Vis uniform.
Oh they’re better. Thanks for asking.
They arrive at the
ambulance. CHARLIE and her colleague haul HELEN into the ambulance. The male
paramedic hops out, and makes his way to the driver’s seat. JANET boards the
ambulance.
I’m about to ring her husband.
Is there any information I can share with him?
Helen here is going to be fine. She appears to be dehydrated.
We’ve administered fluid bolus for rehydration.
They’ll run further tests at the hospital for good measure.
She’ll be all right.
Thank you. I appreciate the details.
CHARLIE pulls a card
from her pocket, and quickly scribbles something.
(rambles)
I’ve never done this. It’s probably not even ethical.
CHARLIE hands her card
to CAROLINE
Here’s my number...
CAROLINE accepts the
business card she has been handed. CHARLIE’s personal mobile number is
scribbled on the back.
In case you need help dressing your wound
(hesitates, says it anyway)
or need a dance partner.
I already have your number. 999.
Ha!
(smiles unsure if she had just been rejected)
I’ve got to go. Bye.
Bye.
CAROLINE watches the ambulance leave. There’s a smile on her face.
CAROLINE’S SCHOOL
CAROLINE makes her way
back to her office elated at the knowledge of a lovely younger woman taking an
interest in her. She enters her office.
Ruth!
The sight of RUTH
startles CAROLINE, having forgotten their scheduled meeting. CAROLINE feels
like someone caught in a compromising position given her previous thoughts.
What happened to your hands?
RUTH takes CAROLINE’s
heavily bandaged hands with a show of concern. CAROLINE’s feelings are in a
jumble, confused at the brewing desire for the woman who humiliated her with
ferocious meanness.
It’s a long story.
CAROLINE snatches back her hands.
I have to reschedule our meeting. I’ve got a thousand and one things to do. I’ve got to ring Helen’s husband, arrange for someone to fetch Flora, visit Helen at the hospital, and drive Janet home.
CAROLINE’s feeling
self-conscious.
Home to her house. Not mine.
Would you like me to go with you?
No!
(she realizes the abruptness of her response and softens her tone.)
No, thank you. That won’t be necessary.
Sorry, I really need to ring Helen’s husband now.
Right, sure, I’ll leave you be.
CAROLINE watches RUTH
leave her office, and sighs.
JUDITH’S HOUSE,
KITCHEN. AFTERNOON.
JOHN follows JUDITH to
the kitchen.
So what’s happened to Caroline?
She’s the only reason I let you in.
JOHN is too consumed
with his troubles to absorb the implications of JUDITH’s statement.
Caroline has a new woman.
What?
Lawrence showed me a video of them.
When? How?
JOHN’s not really
listening.
It’s gone viral.
Where?
At a women’s disco.
JUDITH now at the
kitchen counter starts typing on her laptop.
Could you be more specific?
How many women’s discos are there in West Yorkshire?
I’ll have Laura find it.
I thought you’ve sent her to Outer Mongolia.
She has proven her loyalty to me. She’s quite an asset really.
Don’t tell her I said that.
Charming. Maybe she’ll write a book about you.
So where’s Caroline now?
Probably at the hospital.
Hospital?! Is she all right?
Yes, yes, one of her staff fell ill.
So who’s picking up Flora?
Who knows? Why do you care?
Aren’t you priceless?
Caroline’s rushing to the hospital,
and you don’t offer help with childcare.
Flora’s not my child. She didn’t ask.
Does she have to ask?
That’s the trouble with you, John. You don’t take action.
JOHN scoffs.
You retreat into your mind.
Well, my mind is more amusing than some people I know.
Why are you here anyway?
Don’t you have people to bother other than me, Caroline, and Gillian?
That Gillian! She’s the one who dragged Caroline to the disco.
I heard her bugging Caroline about it at the funeral reception.
Utterly inappropriate.
If I were you, I’d make myself useful.
Useful.
You could see a
lightbulb go on JOHN’s head.
FAR SLACK FARM.
EVENING.
CAROLINE arrives at GILLIAN’s
house. They head to the kitchen.
Thanks for picking up and babysitting, Flora.
No problem. We saved you some food.
That’s thoughtful of you.
Is Helen all right?
Yes, she’s fine. They just need to replenish her electrolytes.
She’ll be discharged later tonight.
Good to hear it. Where’s John?
I haven’t a clue where he is. He rang this afternoon.
And didn’t offer to fetch Flora?
It sounded like he was driving.
I wouldn’t want him to fetch Flora anyway.
He’ll think I need him.
Right.
He’d think I want him around and never leave.
GILLIAN goes to the
sink. CAROLINE removes her hand from her pocket. CHARLIE’s business card falls
on the floor. GILLIAN returns to the kitchen table.
You dropped something.
GILLIAN picks up the
business card, and sees the scribble on the back.
Who’s Charlie? I didn’t know people still give out business cards.
It’s one of the paramedics who treated Helen.
(she pretends to say it with insouciance)
It’s the same pair at the disco.
(she surprised herself by adding that detail)
You mean the Adonis incarnate?
CAROLINE is relieved GILLIAN
did not catch on.
I can’t believe that hot thing gave you his number.
The girl’s attractive too. I thought they were strippers.
The ones you get for hen night.
Is he hot?
Hell yeah! You didn’t notice?
You really are a lesbian. Can I keep this?
GILLIAN waves CHARLIE’s
business card.
Since you know...you’re batting for the other team.
Sure, but...
(hesitates)
Charlie’s the girl.
GILLIAN is thrilled to
hear this development.
Really?! That’s great! Good for you!
CAROLINE giggles.
(says it in a singsong)
Caroline’s got a suitor.
Why do I even tell you these things?
‘Cause I’m your sista! Soul sista!
She must be twenty years younger than me, Lady Marmalade.
So what? That never stopped me.
CAROLINE’s got a niggle
though. One she needs to express.
Oh, what a day.
Ruth was in my office after Helen’s emergency.
Oh? I thought that ship has sailed.
She was there for a work meeting, which I had to reschedule.
Good. Okay.
GILLIAN’s intrigued.
She was affectionate.
I thought she’s not gay.
She implied she’s not...gay.
You still fancy her? After all the things she said? And put you through?
I don’t know. It’s all confusing.
I think you’re attracted to people you think you can fix...save.
Oh, how so, Dr. Gill?
Well, there’s John. He’s such a twat.
Can’t argue with that.
CAROLINE appreciates GILLIAN. It’s great they can talk like this
John is perpetually aimlessly adrift.
Yeah, and he relies on you to anchor him.
Then there’s Ruth. Mad bitch.
She seems as bonkers as her husband.
It takes one to know one. I’d know.
You’re quite perceptive...for someone
who spends more time around sheep than people.
I draw from my years of experience at t’supermarket checkout
You meet all sorts of people there.
Well, you’re missing one person in your analysis, Dr. Gill. Kate.
(pensive)
She was perfect. She saved me.
CAROLINE holds back
tears. Tries not to cry.
Yes. Kate was perfect. She’s the anomaly.
But...didn’t you say she could’ve done more career-wise?
So...you still found something.
Oh, good Lord. What’s wrong with me?
Our time is about up. We’ll pick it up at our next session.
(chuckles)
So are you going to ring Charlie?
GILLIAN returns CHARLIE’s
business card to CAROLINE.
Maybe.
Well, we’ve made progress then.
Maybe is better than a flat-out no.
CAROLINE stares at CHARLIE’s
number. She’s jubilant, uplifted. Most of all, she feels desirable.
Read continuation in the next Last Tango in Halifax fan fiction episode: Gillian and Caroline Go to Hebden Women’s Disco – Last Tango in Halifax Fan Fiction 1.3
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