Sunday, September 4, 2011

Mr. Monk and the Class Reunion – Monk Transcript 5.6

Mr Monk and the Class ReunionAn old woman walks over to the elevator and sees a note posted on it that reads “Out of Order – Use Stairs”.

Woman: Oh, for Pete’s sakes. It’s out of order again.
Man: Looks like we’re taking the stairs, then. After you.

The old woman walks over to the stairwell. The man removes the note, and follows the woman.

Woman: Why don’t you go on ahead? I’m gonna be a while.
Man: Are you Mrs. Rutherford?
Woman: That’s right.
Man: Katherine Rutherford, the nurse?
Mrs. Rutherford: Well, not anymore. I’m retired. I…have we met?
Man: I think you know my wife, unfortunately.
Mrs. Rutherford: Why unfortunately? Continue reading...

The man grabs Mrs. Rutherford and throws her down the stairs. She takes a terrible fall down the stairs, and dies instantly. The man pulls out a pearl necklace, and breaks it. The pearls fall on the floor. The man checks her pulse to make sure that she’s dead then leaves.

Captain Stottlemeyer arrives at the crime scene.

Stottlemeyer: Morning. What’s going on?
Disher: Well, what you see is pretty much it.
Stottlemeyer: What do I see?
Disher: It looks like an accident. Her name’s Katherine Rutherford. 62. Lives here on the third floor. Patrol officers called us in just to make sure.
Stottlemeyer: What are those?
Disher: Uh, beads. She was wearing a necklace, which broke. She slips on the beads, breaks her neck.
Stottlemeyer: Lot of gravity in these stairwells.
Disher: Yes, Sir.
Stottlemeyer: I just used the elevator. Why didn’t she?
Disher: Um.
Stottlemeyer: Was it broken?
Disher: Uh.

Lieutenant Disher goes over his notes.

Stottlemeyer: If you don’t know, just say so.
Disher: I don’t know.
Stottlemeyer: Hey, are there any beads down there?
Officer: No, Sir.
Stottlemeyer: If she slipped on the beads, why didn’t any of them roll away?
Disher: Beads, beads, beads, beads…
Stottlemeyer: You don’t know.
Disher: Randy, something’s wrong here.

Captain Stottlemeyer picks up the necklace’s string with still a few beads on it.

Stottlemeyer: This is wrong.

Captain Stottlemeyer walks down the stairs.

Stottlemeyer: Lift up her head.

Captain Stottlemeyer wraps the string around Mrs. Rutherford’s neck.

Stottlemeyer: It doesn’t fit. It’s too small. Okay, we’re changing gears. Lock down this stairwell from the basement to the roof. Call the watch commander. This is now a homicide investigation.
Disher: Yes, Sir.
Officer: Captain, I just found this under the body.
Stottlemeyer: What is that, a lapel pin?
Disher: Yeah, I’ve seen that before. Wait, I know this pin. Someone was wearing it.
Stottlemeyer: Who?
Disher: Hang on. Wait, wait, wait. I don’t know.
Stottlemeyer: You don’t know.

Adrian Monk is wearing the lapel pin on his way to the Class of ’81 reunion.

Monk: Is it straight? I can’t get it straight.
Natalie: Why don’t you just stand at a slight angle? Mr. Monk maybe I should stay.
Monk: No, no.
Natalie: No, no, my parents can pick up Julie.
Monk: I’m fine.
Natalie: Well, it’s just that the last time you saw these people, you were with Trudy, and I remember after Mitch died, how difficult it was, you know, going to parties and seeing our friends. That’s when I missed him the most.
Monk: I’m way ahead of you. Did all my crying last night. I’m good to go.
Natalie: I’m gonna call my parents.
Monk: No! Relax, will you? This is Berkeley. It’s like my second home. Wish you could have seen me here, Trudy and me. We had a million friends. We owned this place.
Natalie: Hmm.
Monk: I hope Dinky comes. Crazy Dinky Feber. He was always getting off these great zingers. I hope Craig Hopper comes. He was always explaining Dinky’s zingers to me. They made a great team.
Natalie: Oh, have you filled out your registration form?
Monk: Yeah, I filled it out six months ago. Oh, my God. Is that…is that Smitty? Smitty! Smit-O! Smit-man!

Smitty looks at Monk, but continues to walk away.

Monk: Uh, I thought that was Smitty. That guy looked just like Smitty. You still have my invitation?
Natalie: Oh, yes, I do. Here you go.

Natalie Teeger pulls out the invitation from her purse, and hands it to Monk.

Monk: Yeah.
Natalie: Adrian “Captain Cool” Monk? Who’s Captain Cool?
Monk: Me.

Adrian Monk strikes a pose. He puts his left arm on his side, and bends his right knee.

Monk: That was my nickname.
Natalie: You? You were Captain Cool? Why?
Monk: Why do you think?
Natalie: I don’t know.

Adrian Monk exaggerates his pose.

Monk: Why do you think?
Natalie: I don’t know.
Monk: Look, I didn’t write the invitation, did I?
Natalie: Okay. Okay. Well, uh, good luck, and I will see you here at 7 o’clock. Okay?

Natalie imitates Monk’s pose.

Natalie: Captain.

Adrian Monk stands in line. The woman behind her comes up to Monk.

Woman: Adrian?
Monk: Dianne. Dianne Sooner.
Dianne: Not anymore. It’s Dianne Brooks.

Dianne shows Monk her wedding ring.

Dianne: Oh, my gosh! You look great! Oh, my…I can’t…You haven’t changed at all.
Monk: Neither have you except for, you know, your age.
Dianne: Well, you know, I don’t think I’ve seen you since…well, since the memorial service, I guess, right?
Monk: Yeah.
Dianne: How, how are you doing? Are you dating?
Monk: No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
Dianne: Well, maybe you’ll meet someone here.
Monk: No. No, I don’t think…nah. No.
Dianne: Well, you never know.
Monk: Yeah. Yeah, you do.
Dianne: Well, um, where are you staying?
Monk: At home. I’m about a half-hour from here, just across the bay.
Dianne: Oh! Oh, you know what? That reminds me, I forgot to fill out my form. Remember me? Right?

Dianne Brooks pulls out the form from her bag.

Dianne: Always at the last minute?
Monk: Always.
Dianne: Yeah. You know what? Do you mind if I…

Dianne points at Monk’s back.

Monk: Oh, yeah, yeah.

Adrian Monk offers his back to be used as a writing desk.

Dianne: Could you…there.

Dianne starts filling out the form on Monk’s back.

Dianne: You know, actually, my…my…sorry. My husband, Kyle, is dying to meet you.
Monk: He is?
Dianne: Yeah! Yeah! He has been asking about you every day, for months. “Do you think Adrian Monk is coming?” You know, “Is he really coming?” Yeah. He is gonna be so excited. Great! Thank you.

The alumni gather inside the hall.

Woman: Is this thing on?

The woman taps on the microphone, and it sends a feedback.

Woman: Ooh!

The people laugh.

Woman: Hello. Welcome back, Class of 1981!

The people applaud. Adrian Monk suddenly looks anxious.

Woman: I’d like to thank everyone for coming. We have a lot of great events planned culminating in a big dinner and slideshow tomorrow night. Are there any questions?
Man: Yeah. How did everybody else get so old?

Everyone laughs.

Woman: Now, come on, I think we all look fantastic! Does everyone here have a lapel pin?

Adrian Monk checks his lapel pin.

Woman: Okay, you need these to get into all the events, and into the cafeteria. So, if you lose one or you need another, there’s a box of them in the corner, help yourself. I guess that’s it. Have fun, and I’ll see you around the campus.

Everybody claps. Adrian Monk looks sad. The people mingle. Adrian Monk walks over to the bar.

Monk: Just some water.
Bartender: Ice?
Monk: Ten.
Bartender: Ten what?
Monk: Cubes.
Man: It’s wild. It’s so wild! I can’t believe it!

Adrian Monk walks over to a group of people.

Monk: Hi! Hi. Hello.

The group turn to Adrian Monk with a clueless expression on their faces.

Monk: Simon! Juliette? Oh, my God! Dennis, I can’t believe it.
Simon: Hey! Honey, you remember Mr. Amonk?
Monk: No. It’s “A. Monk.” Adrian Monk. Adrian Monk!
Dennis: Hey.

All look stumped.

Monk: I was dating Trudy Ellison.
Everyone: Oh, Trudy!
Juliette: Yes, I loved her!
Simon: Wasn’t she great?
Dennis: She is.
Juliette: I think about her all the time.

They look at Monk, and all fall silent again.

Simon: Well, take care of yourself.
Monk: Yeah.

Monk walks back to the bar where the bartender has his water ready.

Bartender: Ten cubes.
Monk: You’re welcome.

Adrian Monk drinks the water, and dislikes it. Natalie searches her purse as she walks over to her car.

Natalie: Oh, shoot.

She sees a couple getting out of their car.

Natalie: Hi. Excuse me, are you going to the reunion?
Man: That’s right.
Natalie: Great! Could you give these keys to Adrian Monk?
Man: Who?
Natalie: Adrian Monk? Um, Captain Cool?

The man laughs.

Man: Captain Cool? Is he here?
Natalie: Yeah.
Man: Sure. I’d be glad to.
Natalie: Okay, great. Thank you. Have fun.
Man: Okay.

Natalie walks over to her car, which is parked nearby.

Woman: Who is Captain Cool?
Man: He was this weird guy, real nervous. Always worried about everything. He spent every weekend defrosting his refrigerator. So, we called him Captain Cool.

The couple laughs.

At the reunion, Adrian Monk talks to one of his classmates.

Monk: The last time I saw you was Mischief Night, 1981. You and your friends were throwing toilet paper everywhere, right?
Man: Mischie Night.
Monk: That’s right.
Man: Right. I don’t remember you.
Monk: I wasn’t with you. I was following you. I was cleaning up.
Man: Was that you?
Monk: You had a girlfriend with short red hair.
Man: Belinda.
Monk: Yeah.
Man: Yeah. Yeah. She and I, we got married, but she passed away.
Monk: Oh. My wife died, too.
Man: Oh.
Monk: Trudy Ellison. Yeah.
Man: It’s tough, huh? But you just have to move on.
Monk: No. We can’t move on. We can try, but we’ll never get past it. It’s unrelenting. All we can do is live out our days alone in hopeless quiet, desperation.
Man: Would you excuse me? I’m, um, I’m remarried. My family’s waiting for me.

The man points at his wife, and baby. Natalie arrives, walks up to Mr. Monk, and puts her arm around his.

Monk: Thank you.

Lieutenant Randy Disher walks over to Captain Leland Stottlemeyer’s office.

Disher: Captain, the lapel pin. I just remembered where I saw it.
Stottlemeyer: Where?
Disher: Just now, at my desk.
Stottlemeyer: No, I mean where…tell me about the pin, Randy.
Disher: Monk. He’s been wearing the same pin all week for his 25th college reunion.
Stottlemeyer: I think you’re right. Did the victim go to Berkeley?
Disher: No, she worked there. She was a nurse in the university clinic for, like, 20 years.
Stottlemeyer: But she didn’t graduate, so this isn’t her pin.
Disher: The killer.
Stottlemeyer: It fell off the killer, which means the killer is at the reunion with Monk.

Adrian Monk and Natalie Teeger are at the cafeteria.

Natalie: Well, this looks delicious. So, this is where you ate? I mean, this was your hangout?
Monk: I don’t know. Natalie, I think I’ve seen enough. Let’s just go.
Natalie: No, I’m not gonna let you go. You’ve been looking so forward to this.

Natalie grabs a plastic tray, and utensils.

Monk: I don’t know what I was thinking. These people weren’t my friends, okay? They don’t even remember me. Truth is, I was invisible. It was Trudy they loved. I was always just the guy with Trudy. Just like you’re the girl with me.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, why is your name on the spit shield?
Monk: Oh, when I was here, there was nothing protecting the food.
Natalie: So you donated all of these? That is so generous of you!
Monk: Well, actually, it was more of a lawsuit. It took up a lot of my spare time.
Dianne: Adrian! There you are. We’ve been looking for you.
Natalie: Hi, I’m Natalie Teeger.
Dianne: Hi. Dianne Brooks.

Dianne shakes Natalie’s hands.

Natalie: I’m his assistant.
Dianne: Oh! Oh, so you two aren’t…
Natalie: No.
Monk: Oh, no. No, no, no, no. No. No. Not…not…no.
Dianne: Okay. Where are you sitting?
Monk: Well, I’m not…we’re not…Kyle and I are right over here.
Dianne: We saved you a seat. Fair warning, we brought a lot of pictures.

Dianne walks back to her table.

Natalie: See? You have a friend.
Monk: No. She was Trudy’s roommate, freshman year.
Natalie: Well, she saved us a seat.
Monk: Out of pity. Those are what we call “pity seats.” Pity…

Mr. Monk and Natalie are having lunch with the Brooks.

Natalie: So, Kyle, you didn’t go to Berkeley?
Kyle: Me? Hell, no. Community college. C.C. all the way. Never had much of that book learning.
Dianne: Kyle works for my father now. He’s one of our top salespeople.
Kyle: Yeah. It’s like Monopoly money. Daddy pays me, and I give it all to her.
Dianne: Kyle, not now. You promised.
Kyle: So, Adrian, what do you do?
Monk: I’m a private detective. I do some consulting.

Kyle gulps.

Kyle: Really? Sorry. You don’t look like a detective.

Dianne passes a picture to Natalie.

Dianne: We don’t have any children, so we just show pictures of our house instead.
Natalie: Oh! Well, it’s beautiful.
Dianne: We designed it ourselves, and that’s tangerine.

Mr. Monk looks at a picture of Kyle and Dianne with their black dog named Tangerine.

Monk: Wait. Didn’t you used to have a dog named Tangerine?
Dianne: What a memory! That’s amazing. Trudy was always bragging about his amazing memory. That’s right. I had a poodle, junior and senior year, Tangerine.
Monk: That’s right.
Dianne: And then Kyle brought home this big ball of love a couple of weeks ago.
Kyle: Yeah. He was already named. That’s what they were calling him at the shelter. “Tangerine”.
Dianne: Isn’t that funny? I mean, what are the odds of that?

Mr. Monk and Natalie walk a hallway of a dorm.

Monk: One in a million. Maybe one in a trillion.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, forget about the dog!
Monk: How could the same person have two dogs, twenty-five years apart, just happened to be named Tangerine? Tangerine? And this Tangerine is black.
Natalie: Why would anybody lie about a dog’s name?
Monk: I don’t know, but…there’s something weird about that guy. Dianne said that he couldn’t wait to meet me, but he didn’t even know I was detective.
Natalie: Mr. Monk. Come on! Let’s have some fun! You said you were going to show me your dorm room.
Monk: All right. It’s right here. This is it. Old 303. Uh-oh! Tie on the doorknob. My roommate and I did the same thing. It’s a code.
Natalie: Yeah. I think I might know about that.
Monk: Yeah. Means, “Don’t come in, I’m reorganizing my closet.”
Natalie: Your closet?
Monk: Yeah, my roommate freshman year Greg, he reorganized his closet four or five times a week.
Natalie: Uh-huh, and did his girlfriend ever come over to help?
Monk: Oh, yeah. All the time. They were real neat freaks. I used to tease him about it. “Neat freaks!”

Adrian Monk spots something.

Monk: Oh my God. Oh…my…God. I…can’t…believe it.

Monk and Natalie walk over to the Student Lounge.

Monk: He’s still here. Hello, old friend.

Monk walks over to the refrigerator.

Monk: Remember me? Oh, I knew we’d meet again. Maybe it is our destiny.

Mr. Monk puts his hand on the freezer door.

Monk: Natalie, put your hand right there.
Natalie puts her hand on the freezer door.

Monk: You feel that?
Natalie: No.
Monk: He’s afraid. Step back. Step back.

Adrian Monk pulls his hand inside his sleeve.

Monk: I’m going in.

Monk opens the freezer door. The whole freezer is almost covered with ice. Only a few inches of space remain.

Monk: Whoa. I’m gonna need a spatula, a pan, and a Bible.

Later, Monk with a hair dryer and a spatula has cleared a large portion of the freezer of ice. Natalie has fallen asleep on the couch. Captain Stottlemeyer arrives.

Stottlemeyer: There you are.

Natalie: Captain, what are you doing here?
Stottlemeyer: Looking for you. I was bout to give up, when I heard some clowns downstairs talking about a guy up here defrosting a refrigerator.

Monk smiles.

Stottlemeyer: Who’s Captain Cool?

Adrian Monk looks at Natalie.

Man #1: Captain Cool lives.
Man #2: The return of Captain Cool!

The men guffaw.

Man #1: The Iceman cometh back!

The men laugh harder.

Mr. Monk, Natalie and Captain Stottlemeyer walk outside.

Monk: Might be me. Katherine Rutherford.
Stottlemeyer: Ring a bell? She was a nurse, here at the school clinic. I found one of these near her body.

Captain Stottlemeyer points at Monk’s lapel pin.

Monk: A reunion pin?
Stottlemeyer: Yeah. Did you notice anybody missing a pin?
Monk: I haven’t noticed.
Stottlemeyer: I guess not.
Disher: Hey, Monk.

Lieutenant Randy Disher approaches them.

Disher: How’s memory lane?
Monk: Oh, pretty awful. Thanks for asking.
Disher: Listen, I was at the security office going through some old files. I think we’ve got a name. Henry Kalimarakis.
Stottlemeyer: Well, that’s a name.
Monk: Oh, oh, oh, he was on the swim team.
Disher: Correct. He was trying out for the Olympics. Twenty-five years ago, Nurse Rutherford administered a drug test. Henry came back positive for steroids. She turned him in, he threatened her, said she ruined his life.
Stottlemeyer: Well, that’s what the kids call a motive.
Natalie: Then he waited twenty-five years to do something about it? Who could hold a grudge for that long?
Stottlemeyer: I could. And have. Let’s check him out. Want to come with?
Monk: Maybe later. I want to show Natalie the library.
Disher: I was just there. It’s nothing special.
Natalie: It’s where he met Trudy.

Captain Stottlemeyer and Lieutenant Disher nod.

Stottlemeyer: Have fun.

Mr. Monk and Natalie walk away.

Disher: Oops. I didn’t know he met Trudy there.

Mr. Monk and Natalie are in the library.

Monk: I used to work here part-time. It was here. I was standing right here. It was a Tuesday, 4:30. She was wearing a white blouse. There was a button missing. There was a little thread sticking out.
Natalie: You remember it like it was yesterday.
Monk: It was yesterday.

Flashback ensues. A young Adrian Monk stacks up a set of books. A young Trudy approaches him.

Trudy: Excuse me. Hello. I can’t find a book. This is not the Dewey decimal system that I know and love. Do you work here?
Monk: Yes, I…yes, I do. Um, here’s the thing. Um, we’re reorganizing, and we’re moving all the stacks upstairs. What are you looking for?
Trudy: Trevor Rosenthal’s biography of Alexander Pope. Volume two.
Monk: Right. Yeah. I…

Monk runs to one table that has a stack of books, and pulls out Trevor Rosenthal’s biography of Alexander Pope.

Trudy: How did you do that?
Monk: I saw it last week.
Trudy: And you remembered?
Monk: If I see something once, I never forget it.
Trudy: That sounds pretty awful. My bad memory’s my salvation.

Adrian Monk hands the book to Trudy.

Monk: “Thus let me live, unseen, unknown. Thus unlamented, let me die. Steal…”
Trudy: “Steal from the world, and not a stone tell where I lie.” You know Alexander Pope. So you never forget anything? For example, you’re never going to forget this? Me, us, talking right now?

Adrian Monk shakes his head with a smile.

Guy: Hey, Captain Cool. You work here, right? Where’s the Xerox machine?
Monk: Downstairs.
Guy: Whoa, hey, it’s Trudy, right? Yeah, I met you at Poor Herbies two weeks ago. I’ve been thinking about you. You owe me a few hours of sleep, young lady.
Trudy: Drew, right?
Drew: You got it. I wanted to call you. I’ve been dying to call you, but I lost your phone number.
Trudy: Oh, please.
Drew: Oh, it’s true. It’s been driving me crazy. Have a little mercy here, and give me another chance?
Trudy: Well, it’s a new number. I don’t even know it myself.
Drew: Hey, Captain, do me a favor?

Drew uses Monk’s back to write on.

Drew: What are you doing?
Trudy: You mean now? Going back to the student center.
Drew: Me, too. I’ll walk you. Are these yours?
Trudy: Yep.

Drew takes Trudy’s books.

Drew: See, chivalry isn’t dead.

Trudy smiles. Drew winks at Adrian Monk who looks disappointed as the two walk away. Flashback ends.

Monk: And that’s how I got her number. Wait, wait, wait.
Natalie: You mean when he wrote it on your back, you could feel it? You could do that?
Monk: I have very sensitive skin.
Natalie: That’s like a superpower! Like a weird, not very useful superpower.
Monk: It took me thee weeks to call her. It was the bravest thing I ever did. She was already dating that other guy, Drew.
Natalie: Yeah, but she chose you. Never forget that. She chose you.
Monk: Yeah, I don’t know why, and he was just written up in Time magazine last year. He’s a famous heart surgeon. He’s rich. He’s happy. What was she thinking?
Natalie: Oh, Mr. Monk, she knew exactly what she was doing.

Mr. Monk and Natalie are at the kiosk.

Monk: I can’t believe this kiosk got all cluttered again.
Natalie: Yeah, well, I guess you’ll have to just come back for your 50th. Okay, come on. Come on. Come on.
Dianne: Adrian! Oh, my God. Did you hear about Nurse Rutherford?
Monk: Uh, yes. We were just talking about it.
Dianne: Can you believe it? The police are here. They’re talking to everybody. They said she was killed.
Natalie: Were you close with her?
Dianne: I haven’t talked to her for years, but…well, still.
Monk: Horrible. It’s horrible.

Kyle arrives with a woman with her.

Kyle: Dianne. Hey, honey, are you okay?

Kyle gives her wife a kiss on the forehead, and turns to the lady with him.

Kyle: The nurse who died, Rutherford, apparently Dianne used to know her. These things happen, right? I mean, it’s a big city.

Adrian Monk turns to the lady Kyle brought with him.

Monk: Hello.
Kyle: I’m so sorry. Have you all met? This is Trudy.
Gertrude: Gertrude.
Kyle: But your nickname’s Trudy, right?
Gertrude: I had an aunt that called me Trudy.
Kyle: So, it’s Trudy! Trudy and I met over at the fountain, and I’ve invited her to join us for lunch.
Natalie: Okay! All right! Where are we eating?
Kyle: How about Rocco’s?
Dianne: Rocco’s?
Kyle: Rocco’s! Honey, you’ve been telling me about Rocco’s for years. You said it was your favorite hangout.
Dianne: Honey, I’m not even sure it’s still there.
Monk: No, no, no.
Kyle: It is. I checked.
Monk: Rocco’s…you don’t want…that place is terrible. They have this rotiserrie thing in the window with this one sad, lonely hotdog, going around and around…
Kyle: It sounds great! Huh? Come on. I am not taking no for an answer. It’ll be my treat. Come on. Let’s go have lunch, huh?
Dianne: Honey, are you okay? What’s going on?
Kyle: I just want you to have a great reunion. Who’s hungry?
Gertrude: Actually, I’ve already eaten.
Kyle: Oh, Trudy, have some coffee. There’s always room for coffee, huh? Here we go.
Natalie: Who is this guy?
Monk: I don’t know. I can’t believe I’m eating at Rocco’s again. I used to have nightmares about that hotdog.

Later that night when Kyle is out to get some ice from the ice machine, he calls someone on his cellphone.

Kyle: Hey, it’s me.

Kyle sighs.

Kyle: Yeah, I just left her. She’s sleeping. The sleep of the innocent. Yeah. We all ate at Rocco’s. Took some doing, but I finally got everybody to go. Now all I have to do is get everybody to play touch football tomorrow, and we’re home free. Hang tight, baby. Just one more night, she’ll be dead, and then it’ll be just you, me, and a big pile of money.

The next day, Mr. Monk and Natalie are bank in the campus. Natalie is sitting on a bench reading the program, while Mr. Monk fusses with something under the bench.

Natalie: Oh, look! There’s a reception for all current and past chess club members. Weren’t you in the chess club? That sounds like fun.

Mr. Monk just stares at Natalie.

Natalie: You never know. It could be fun.

Monk: Natalie, have you ever seen a chess club?
Natalie: What are you doing?
Monk: Weeds.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, there are weeds everywhere. What are you gonna do, clean up the whole campus?

Captain Stottlemeyer is at the University Clinic.

Doctor: Here it is. Katherine Rutherford’s employment file.
Stottlemeyer: Yeah. So, if there were any complaints or any grievances against her, they’d be in here, right?
Doctor: Yeah. We’d have a copy of it, yeah, but I can’t think of anyone who had anything bad to say about her. Katie was an angel. A great nurse. It’s just heartbreaking.
Stottlemeyer: Yeah.
Doctor: Say, did you go to school here?
Stottlemeyer: Me? No.
Doctor: Oh, you look familiar. Maybe one of your kids.
Stottlemeyer: No. I was here one time, though for a No Nukes rally. It was a long time ago.
Doctor: Yeah, that must be it.
Stottlemeyer: It must be.

Lieutenant Randy Disher arrives.

Disher: Captain? I, uh, tracked down Kalimarakis. I don’t think he’s our guy. Number one, it turns out he was allowed to join the Olympic swim team as an alternate. He got a waiver.
Stottlemeyer: So there’s no motive.
Disher: Right. Number two, he’s dead. He died in 1995.

Captain Stottlemeyer looks annoyed.

Disher: And number three, he moved to Europe in the late 1980s so there’s no record of hi ever returning to the United States.
Stottlemeyer: Randy, Randy, excuse me. Sorry to interrupt you, but could you read number two again?
Disher: Okey-doke. He’s dead.
Stottlemeyer: Right. See, I probably would have stopped reading after number two. In fact, I would have read number two first.
Disher: You would have switched them?
Stottlemeyer: Yeah, but that’s just me, and probably every other adult on the planet Earth.
Disher: Anything in her file?
Stottlemeyer: No. Not a single complaint.

A delivery boy with a wreath arrives.

Delivery Boy: Excuse me, is this the right place? It says, “In loving memory of Katherine Rutherford.”
Doctor: Yeah, this is the place.

Captain Stottlemeyer reads the note.

Stottlemeyer: Thank you.

Captain Stottlemeyer speaks with Dianne Brooks.

Stottlemeyer: That was a lovely wreath. She must have meant a lot to you.
Dianne: Katherine Rutherford saved my life. My senior year was really tough for me.
Monk: I remember. Your mother passed away.
Dianne: That’s right. I was in a really bad place. So, I wrote a note, a suicide note, and…I don’t even remember what it said, and I took 53 little white pills. Katherine was worried about me so she came by the apartment, she broke down the door, and she called 911. I wouldn’t be here today. A wreath, you know, a few flowers, it’s the least I could do.

Kyle comes running up to his wife.

Kyle: Hey, who’s up for some football? Huh?
Natalie: Football?
Kyle: Yeah, yeah. Come on. Four on four. These guys just challenged us to a game.
Guy: No, we didn’t. Your boy here challenged us.
Kyle: Whatever! Come on! We got to show these guys how it’s done, huh? Old school! Come on, it’ll cheer us up. Let’s play. Everybody’s playing. Natalie? Adrian? Come on. A little bit of touch football?
Monk: Here’s the thing. I’m not a big football person, and the touching, that doesn’t really help matters.
Kyle: Okay, Adrian, help me out, please. Dianne has been a little depressed lately, and all I’m doing is trying to cheer her up.
Natalie: Oh, here, I’ll hold them.
Dianne: Oh, thank you.
Monk: Yeah, okay.
Disher: All right. I’m in, too. Let’s go. Let’s do it! Uh, let’s make the end zones that tree to the walkway. We’ll be shirts.
Stottlemeyer: Okay, Randy. Randy! You stay and play football if you want to. I’m gonna go to work on this little homicide investigation.
Disher: I got to go.

Randy throws the ball at Monk who catches it with his arms.

Kyle: Look at that. Look at that! And you said you don’t play. Come on! Let’s go, you guys. Watch it, fellas. Watch it. That’s all I’m gonna say. Let’s see a little hustle!

Randy looks on.

Captain: Randy?

Randy reluctantly follows Captain Stottlemeyer.

Kyle: Okay. Everybody, let’s huddle up. Come on, everybody in. All right. All right, Adrian, I want you to go out, and then cut over to the left.
Monk: So that’s one inch up, and three inches to the left?
Natalie: No, no, Mr. Monk, it’s like a map like a scale map.
Monk: Okay. What’s the scale?
Kyle: I don’t know. Uh, one inch is 20 feet.
Monk: So, that’s 60 feet. I’m going to be in the shrubs. You’re sending me into the shrubs.
Kyle: Okay, you know what? Let’s keep it simple. All right? Everybody just go out, try and get open, and if you get the ball, don’t get touched.
Natalie: Okay. Give the ball to Mr. Monk. He hates being touched.
Kyle: All right, break! Here we go! Here we go! Adrian, you hike it to me. And ready, hike!

Adrian Monk hesitate to pick up the ball.

Kyle: Adrian. Hike!
Natalie: Come on, Mr. Monk.

Mr. Monk tries to pick up the ball using his pinky fingers then switches to the tips of his thumbs.

Guy: What’s up?
Natalie: Do it.

Monk picks up the ball with its thread trying his best barely to touch it with his fingers. He throws it at Kyle.

Guy: There it is! All right!

Kyle catches it, and hands it over to Natalie who throws the ball at Mr. Monk. Mr. Monk catches the ball, and like a ballerina avoids being touched by the opponent.

Natalie: Look out! Go, go, go, go, go!

Mr. Monk reaches the end zone. The people clap and cheer.

Natalie: Yeah! Yeah, Mr. Monk!

Kyle’s team huddle once again.

Kyle: Okay, Dianne, you’re gonna be quarterback this time.
Dianne: What? Me? Honey, I don’t know what I’m doing.
Kyle: Sure you do. Listen, just look for me, okay? I’m gonna get open, and break!
Dianne: Okay!
Kyle: Ok, Dianne.
Dianne: All right.
Kyle: Say “Hike!”
Dianne: Okay. Okay.

Kyle throws the ball at Dianne. Dianne catches it. Kyle runs over to the kiosk.

Kyle: Dianne, over here! I’m open!

Dianne throws the ball. Kyle misses the ball, and it breaks the glass that covers the map on the kiosk.

Kyle: Sorry! That was my bad! It was the sun in my eyes!
Dianne: My God that is so weird. I can’t believe that happened again.
Natalie: What?
Dianne: I broke a window in the science building, right over there, my senior year. I tried to force it open, and it just shattered. Guess the jinx continues, huh?

At the alumni reception, people laugh and cheer at the slideshow. While Natalie enjoys the slideshow, Mr. Monk watches Kyle and Dianne who are at the bar.

Monk: He missed that ball on purpose. He dropped his hands. I think he wanted her to break that glass.
Natalie: Why, Mr. Monk?
Monk: And the dog. What about the dog with the same name? And how he insisted that everybody eat at Rocco’s. What was that all about?
Natalie: I don’t know. Maybe the guy is eccentric.
Monk: No, I’m eccentric. He’s up to something.

A picture of Trudy and Adrian Monk comes up on the slideshow. Only Natalie cheered.

Woman: That’s Trudy Ellison and…um…what was his name?
Natalie: Adrian Monk.
Woman: No, that’s not it. Um, Anthony something.

Natalie Teeger taps the woman.

Natalie: Excuse me.

Natalie points at Mr. Monk.

Natalie: Adrian Monk.
Woman: No, no, that’s not it. It’s…what is his name?

While Dianne is watching the slideshow, Kyle drugs her champagne. He hands the drink to her.

Captain: Excuse me!

Captain Stottlemeyer goes up the stage.

Stottlemyer: Could you kill the music? Thank you.

Captain Stottlemeyer taps on the microphone, and it sends feedback.

Stottlemeyer: Sorry to interrupt your dinner. This will just take a minute.

The slideshow continues to play behind the Captain.

Stottlemeyer: My name is Captain Leland Stottlemeyer. I’m with the San Francisco Police Department, and we’re working on a homicide investigation, and we could use your help. As you may know, a woman was killed on Friday night. Her name was Katherine Rutherford. She worked as a nurse at the university clinic.

Kyle and Dianne join Mr. Monk and Natalie at their table.

Stottlmeyer: Now, we have reason to believe that someone in your class, possibley somebody in this room, might be involved. We’re looking for information. If anyone knows anyone who might have had a grudge against Mrs. Rutherford, either now or in the past…

A picture of the No Nukes rally goes up the screen.

Stottlemeyer: Or someone who might be missing their reunion lapel pin. The alumni reunion…

Captain Stottlemeyer’s picture as a young police officer at the rally comes up.

Everybody: Boo!

He turns around.

Stottlemeyer: Ha! All right! Hey, hey, hey! Settle down. Settle down, everybody. This…this is completely out of context. You can’t tell the whole story from one photograph!

The next slide shows Captain Stottlemeyer strangling one of the protesters with his nightstick. The booing grows louder.

Stottlemeyer: You didn’t have a permit.
Man: Yes, we did!

Another picture shows the Captain pushing a student up against a chicken wire.

Stottlemeyer: It expired at noon.

The next picture shows the Captain dragging a protester with the clock tower showing the time.

Man: 12:06!
Stottlemeyer: Like I said, it expired at noon. Okay, calm down everybody.

Dianne Brooks looks sleepy.

Kyle: You all right?
Dianne: Mmm-mmm.
Kyle: Want to leave?
Dianne: Mmm.
Kyle: I’m gonna take her back to the hotel.
Natalie: Is she alright?
Kyle: Yeah, she’s been feeling a little depressed lately. I’ll have her lie down, and we’ll be back for the last dance.

Kyle escorts Dianne out the reception hall, while Stottlemeyer exits the stage.

Stottlemeyer: Um, thank you very much. Thank you for your help.

Somebody throws a napkin at the Captain.

Stottlemeyer: Thank you.

After the dinner, Captain Stottlemeyer and Randy Disher sit with Natalie and Mr. Monk.

Disher: You forgot to give them the toll-free number.
Stottlemeyer: You know, I don’t think we’re going to get any hot leads from this group, Randy.
Natalie: Oh, shoot. Dianne’s earrings. I forgot to give them back.

Natalie pulls the earrings out form her purse.

Stottlemeyer: Hang on a second.

Captain looks at the pictures from the crime scene, and the beads match those on the earrings. He shows them to Natalie.

Stottlemeyer: What do you think?
Natalie: It looks like they’re from the same set. I mean they match perfectly.
Stottlemeyer: Whose earrings are these?
Monk: Dianne Brooks. She and her husband left about a half an hour ago. He said she was depressed. He’s been saying that all week.
Disher: Were they in town Friday night?
Natalie: Um, yeah. They got in the day before.
Monk: Oh, my God. Captain, I think Dianne is in danger. I think her husband is planning to kill her. Tonight.

Mr. Monk exit the building followed by Natalie, the Captain, and Disher.

Natalie: Mr. Monk, what’s going on?
Monk: Okay, I have a theory. It’s completely crazy, but it would explain everything.

Flashback ensues. Dianne puts a box of her things in the basement of their new house, and so does Kyle.

Monk: Kyle and Dianne moved recently. At some point, Kyle must have found some of her old papers. Personal papers including the suicide note she wrote twenty-five years ago.
Stottlemeyer: Her suicide note?
Monk: He realized that with that note, he could kill his wife with impunity. It was in her handwriting. Nobody would ever question it.

Flashback: Kyle reads the suicide note.
Dianne (voice-over): The depression is overwhelming…Give Tangerine a good home…No relief. Even today, was eating at Rocco’s with Adrian and Trudy…breaking that glass at the quad today felt like the final straw.

Monk: But he had one problem, because the note was twenty-five years old, obviously there were a couple of things in it that were no longer true.
Natalie: Like the name of her dog.
Monk: Exactly, and breaking that glass.

Mr. Monk, Natalie, Stottlemeyer, and Disher are outside the campus.

Monk: And eating at that restaurant with Adrian and Trudy. That’s what he was doing all weekend. He was recreating parts of her life to match that suicide note.
Natalie: So if we found out, we wouldn’t be suspicious.
Disher: Why did he kill the nurse?
Stottlemeyer: He had no choice. Katherine Rutherford read that note twenty-five years ago. It would have been made public, she would have recognized it.
Natalie: My God, Mr. Monk, he could be doing it right now.

Captain Stottlemeyer and Lt. Disher walk up to the registration table.

Stottlmeyer: Registration sheets are all gone!
Monk: Oh!
Disher: Monk, do you have a cell phone number?
Monk: No.
Disher: Do you know where they stayed?
Monk: Some hotel.
Stottlemeyer: There are over 200 hotels in this city, Monk. It’ll take us over five hours to check them all.
Monk: Hold on. Hold on!

Adrian Monk rolls his shoulders forward a couple of times.

Disher: What’s he doing?
Stottlemeyer: I don’t know. What are you doing?
Monk: The hotel where they’re staying, it was on their registration form.
Stottlemeyer: Yeah? So?
Monk: When Dianne signed in…

Flashback shows Dianne filling out her invitation on Monk’s back.

Monk: We were standing in line. She wrote…she wrote on my back.

Natalie smiles.

Disher: Can he do that?
Natalie: That’s how he met Trudy. It’s his superpower!
Monk: Oh, there’s her name. Home address.
Natalie: Okay, Mr. Monk, it was near the bottom.
Monk: She has terrible penmanship. Why did it have to be cursive? She ordered prime rib, medium rare.
Natalie: Keep going. It’s just below that.
Monk: Yeah, there’s an L, uh, L-E, Lexus! Is there a Lexus Hotel?
Stottlemeyer: No, it’s the car they drove, Monk.
Natalie: Keep going.
Monk: There’s a “P”, “P”, No! “P”, “P”, “B”! “B”! “B”!
Stottlemeyer: “B”?
Monk: It’s a “B.” It’s a “B.” It’s a “B.” “L.”
Natalie: Bla…
Stottlemyer: Bla…
Monk: “A.”
Monk: The Bla…The Blaza…
Disher: The Blaza! Plaza!
Monk: B-L-A…The Bla…The Blab…
Stottlemeyer: The Blakemore Hotel!
Disher: It’s right up the street.

Captain Stottlemeyer, Lieutenant Disher, Adrian Monk and Natalie Teeger run to the hotel.

At the hotel, Dianne screams as her husband struggles to push her over the balcony.

Kyle: Don’t fight it!

Kyle pushes her over the balcony. Dianne holds on to dear life. Kyle tries to pry her fingers off the balcony. Captain Stottlemeyer, Lieutenant Disher, Monk and Natalie arrive. The captain drags Kyle away from Dianne.

Stottlemeyer: Grab her! Grab her!

Lt. Disher grabs Dianne, and helps her back up.

Disher; I got her. Come on. It’s okay. Put your arm up here. It’s all right.

Randy helps Dianne on to the bed as the Captain cuffs Kyle. Natalie hands the suicide note to Dianne.

Natalie: Here’s the note. I found it on the desk.

Dianne reads the note in disbelief. Adrian Monk and Natalie Teeger return to the campus. Adrian looks at a bench, and remembers himself and Trudy sitting on it.

Flashback ensues.

Monk: Trudy, I just…there’s something, and…I love you.
Trudy: Then we’re in big trouble. I love you, too.

Adrian Monk takes Trudy’s hand.

This is not the actual script. This is my own transcription of the episode. The “Mr. Monk and the Class Reunion” episode was written by Dan Dratch. Monk is owned by Universal Media Studios in association with Mandeville Films and Touchstone Television.


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