Saturday, December 27, 2008

Duet for Cello and Plane – Wings Transcript 2.22

Helen Chapel sprays Joe Hackett with fire extinguisherLowell is at the hangar dancing The Cha Cha.

Lowell: Cha Cha Cha a one, two, Cha Cha Cha a one, two Cha Cha Cha.

Joe enters the hangar.

Joe: Uh, Lowell what are you doing?
Lowell: Teaching myself how to Cha Cha, Joe.
Joe: Any particular reason why?
Lowell: Well, there’s a party coming up at the Rotary Club. I don’t dance, but Bunny loves to. So, I thought it would be fun to surprise her. Joe, I know this is a lot of ask, but, would you mind helping me out? It’s kind of hard to Cha Cha without a partner.
Joe: No, Lowell, I’m—I’m…
Lowell: Please, Joe. It would mean a lot to Bunny.   Continue reading...

Joe looks around to see if anyone is watching, and sees that there is none. Joe walks towards Lowell, and the two dance.

Lowell: A one, two, Cha Cha Cha. A one, two, Cha Cha Cha.
Joe: Lowell, I feel like an idiot.
Lowell: Oh, nonsense, Joe. You’re very light on your feet. Cha Cha Cha, a one two…
Joe: Really?
Lowell: Cha Cha Cha.
Joe: And a side, two, Cha Cha Cha. And a side, two, Cha Cha Cha. A one, two…

That night, Helen Chapel is practicing the cello at the hangar. Joe enters the hangar, and waits for her to finish the piece before talking to her.

Joe: Helen, I was wondering—
Helen: Just a second, Joe. I’m not through.

Helen plucks a string.

Joe: That was nice. I’m glad I waited.

Helen speaks hurriedly.

Helen: Ok, what do you want? What do you want?
Joe: Well, listen, we haven’t been out in a while, so I wondered if you want to catch a movie tonight?
Helen: Forget it. I gotta practice.
Joe: Hey, fine.

Joe makes his way to the door.

Helen: Oh, wait, wait, wait. I’m sorry, Joe. I’m sorry, Honey. It’s just that this audition is so important. This piece is so difficult. I promise I will stop being a bitch just as soon as this audition is over. Ok?

Helen and Joe kiss and make-up.

Joe: Come on, you haven’t been that bad.
Helen: Oh, what the hell do you know?
Joe: Look, I am sure you will do fine. Just—just don’t get your hopes up too high.
Helen: I don’t think the gipper himself could have been more inspirational, Joe.
Joe: It’s just that I have seen you get all excited about an audition before, and then when you don’t get it, you come crashing down.
Helen: Well, this is different. This is the Maine State Symphony, and when you think of all the musical capitals of the world, Kennebunkport isn’t one of them.
Joe: Don’t sell yourself short. You are a great cellist. You’re really terrific.
Helen: Thank you.
Joe: Just don’t get your hopes up too high.

At the terminal, Fay and Brian are at the Sandpiper Air Counter.

Fay: Brian?
Brian: Yeah?
Fay: Do you remember seeing that woman over there?
Brian: Oh, yeah. Wasn’t she the second peasant from the right in that crowd storming Frankenstein’s castle?
Fay: Poor think keeps searching the terminal as if she’s expecting someone to show up.
Brian: Well, remember, Fay, if it’s a big guy with a bolt in his neck, he’s afraid of fire.

Roy walks over to the Sandpiper Air counter.

Brian: Oh, my God! Here he is now. Back! Back!

Brian goes to Joe’s office.

Roy: Is that weirdo still here? She’s been scaring away my passengers all day. I mean, what does she think this is, a waiting room?
Fay: Well, Roy, it sort of is. Um, maybe I better go talk to her.

Fay walks over to the woman.

Fay: Um, are you waiting for someone?

Fay sits beside the woman.

Fay: Do you speak English?

The woman speaks in a foreign language.

Fay: What do you suppose that meant?
Roy: If she’s at all self-aware, she’s apologizing for smelling like cheese.
Fay: If someone coming to get you?
Roy: Fay, Fay, she obviously doesn’t understand. Let me say what you said in a way she’ll understand, huh? Shoo! Shoo! Get!

The woman gets startled and frightened of Roy.

Fay: Oh, Roy! Roy, I don’t think she has any place to go.
Roy: Well, she’s not staying here. I’m gonna call the police.
Fay: No, uh, uh, Roy, please, no.

Fay turns to the woman, and hand gestures.

Fay: Um, you’ll stay at my house tonight. Come with me, dear.

The woman turns to Roy.

Woman: Patatata.
Roy: Yeah. The same to you.

Helen Chapel is at the auditorium waiting for her turn. A young girl comes out of the audition room.

Girl: Miss Chapel?
Helen: Becky? Becky Wilder? What are you doing here?
Becky: Oh, well, I—I just auditioned.
Helen: Oh, I’m auditioning, too.
Becky: Oh, isn’t this weird? I mean, you and me up for the same job.
Helen: Yeah.
Becky: God. You know, you were my favorite teacher.
Helen: Well, you were my very best student. Just wish I’d had you longer. I’m afraid you learned all I could teach you rather quickly.
Becky: Yeah, I was hoping you’d last for the whole summer.
Helen: Well, Becky, you sure have changed. You’ve grown into a beautiful young woman.
Becky: Thank you. You look just the same, Miss Chapel. It’s amazing. You’ve kept yourself up very well.
Helen: Thank you.

A man comes out of the audition room.

Man: Mr. Fletcher?

Mr. Fletcher nervously walks to the audition room.

Helen: So, what have you been up to?
Becky: Oh, you know the usual stuff. I got a scholarship for Julliard. So, I’ve been going there for a couple of years studying cello, music theory, and composition. Last summer, I got a Tanglewood fellowship. I’ve taken some master classes with Rostropovich and Starker. Let’s see. What else? Oh, yeah, I won the Berlin String Competition. What about you?
Helen: Roughly the same.

Helen clears her throat.

Helen: I couldn’t get away for that Berlin thing.

Helen and Becky pause for a while enough to hear Mr. Fletcher play.

Becky: Listen to that guy in there.
Helen: I know.
Becky: If that’s his idea of poco grazioso, I’d hate to think how molto affettuoso would come out.

Becky giggles. Helen forces a smile then sighs.

Becky: Oh, guess what?
Helen: What?
Becky: I have a boyfriend. He’s really cute.
Helen: I have one too.
Becky: Yeah. Aren’t boys great?
Helen: Yes, they really are.
Becky: Well, I better go mother’s waiting for me.
Helen: Oh.
Becky: We’re going to Nantucket today to visit my grandma. Maybe later we can talk about our auditions and compare notes. Get it? Compare notes?

Both giggles.

Helen: Ok. Goodbye, Becky.
Becky: Compare notes.

Becky giggles. Helen giggles too.

Helen: Oh God!

Becky is out of sight.

Helen: Isn’t that funny?

Later that day, Helen arrives at the airport.

Fay: Helen, how was your audition?
Helen: Fay, I played like I’ve never played before in my life.
Fay: Oh, I’m sorry, dear.
Helen: No, Fay, I played great, but I’m afraid I didn’t play good enough. I competed against a former student of mine, Becky Wilder.

Helen looks at Becky Wilder who is sitting at the lunch counter with her mother.

Fay: Becky Wilder? The winner of the Berlin String Competition?
Helen: You know Becky?
Fay: Well, her grandmother’s in my quilting club, so every Tuesday night, it’s “Becky this” and “Becky that”. The woman never shuts up. You know the quilt I’m making now?
Helen: Mmm.
Fay: When it’s finished, I’m going to smother her with it.

Joe comes out of his office.

Joe: Oh, Helen. Uh, the Maine State Symphony called just before you landed.
Helen: Oh, no. Ok, give me the bad news.
Joe: Ok. You got the job.
Helen: What?
Joe: You got the job!

Helen exclaims then claps her hands.

Helen: Oh, I got it!
Joe: You got it!
Helen: I got it!
Joe: Sweetheart, I am so proud of you.
Helen: Oh, thank you, Joe.

Helen runs and calls everybody’s attention.

Helen: Hey, everybody! I got the job!

Helen laughs.

Helen: Uh, beers over at my counter.

All cheers.

Helen: Lowell, set up the bar.

Lowell turns to Roy.

Lowell: Right! What’ll it be, Tiny?

Becky turns to Helen.

Becky: Congratulations, Miss Chapel. I’m very happy for you.
Helen: Oh, thank you, Becky. Well, you’re being a brave little loser, aren’t you? Uh, listen, uh, Joe, this is Becky Wilder my former student.
Joe: Hi, Becky.
Becky: Hi.
Helen: Becky, this is Joe Hackett, my boyfriend.
Becky: Wow, he’s cute.
Helen: I know, and he can drive. Listen, um, Becky, I don’t want you to worry about not getting this job. You are an incredibly talented young lady, and there is no reason for you to be depressed.
Becky: Oh, I’m not depressed. I wanted to lose. I played lousy on purpose.
Helen: W-what do you mean?
Becky: I tanked the audition. I threw it. I took a dive. I crapped out.
Joe: Pretty impressive vocabulary for a twelve year old.
Becky: Oh, Miss Chapel, I hope that doesn’t make you feel bad.
Helen: Well, it’s not the greatest news I’ve ever heard, but hell, after a couple of beers, I won’t give a fig.

Helen walks away.

Joe: Wait, Becky, I—I don’t get it. Why would you throw the audition?
Becky: I didn’t want to leave my boyfriend, Jimmy. Don’t tell my mother.
Joe: Wow, you must really like him.
Becky: Well, long distance isn’t good for a relationship, you know. It’s just too easy to be unfaithful on the road.
Joe: Unfaithful?
Becky: Yeah, it’s so tempting to go out and have a soda with another boy.
Joe: So, Becky, would you say that soda sharing is prevalent in orchestras out of town?
Becky: There are a lot of cute guys out there. It’s easy to slip.

Mrs. Wilder carries their luggage and signals to her child that they have to leave.

Becky: Gotta go. It was nice meeting you, Mr. Hackett.
Joe: You too, bye.
Becky: Oh, Miss Chapel, have fun in Maine.
Helen: Are you kidding? I’m gonna have the time of my life!

Later that night, Brian arrives at the terminal, and sees the peasant woman cooking at Helen’s lunch counter. Brian turns to Roy who is sitting at the lunch counter.

Brian: What’s she cookin’?
Roy: I don’t know. She’s been boiling something in that pot for hours, and it doesn’t smell too good.

Brian walks over to the woman to sneak a peek in the pot. Brian says nothing to her, and walks over to Roy.

Brian: There’s clothes in there. She’s doing her laundry.

Lowell arrives.

Lowell: Hi, guys.
Roy: Hey, uh, Lowell, would you like to try some soup?

Roy sips his coffee.

Lowell: No way. This morning, I caught her soaking her socks in the coffeepot.

Roy spits his coffee.

A peasant-looking man arrives.

Man: Moshta! Moshta!
Mostha: Yonni!

Moshta and Yonni embrace. Fay walks over to the two.

Mostha: Yonni.

Mostha speaks to her husband in their language.

Mostha: Fay.

Mostha points at Fay.

Yonni removes his cap, and talks to Fay.

Yonni: Skolash.
Fay: Skolash to you, too.

Moshta points at Roy.

Moshta: Patatata.

Mostha speaks affectionately to Fay, and gives her a kiss on both cheeks.

Moshta: Yonni.

The couple who are both excited to be reunited walk away.

Fay: Bye.

Fay turns to Roy.

Fay: She called me her Kerblatten.
Roy: All she ever called me was patatata. I’d like to know what the hell that means.

Moshta sees a framed picture of a horse. She turns to her husband, and points at the horse’s ass.

Moshta: Patatata.

The two laugh out loud. Roy runs towards the picture.

Roy: She thinks I’m a stallion.

Joe goes over to the hangar where Brian is.

Joe: Uh, Brian, I need to talk to you. What are you doing?

Brian is pasting Lowell’s footprint dance guide up the wall.

Joe: Uh, just messing with Lowell’s mind.
Brian: What can I do for you?
Joe: I’ve been tossing this around for about three days, and I’m thinking about asking Helen if she’ll turn down that job and stay here with me. Now, what do you think of that idea?
Brian: What makes you think that she would give up this job for you?
Joe: Becky turned down the job for her boyfriend.
Brian: Talking your cues from a 12-year-old now?
Joe: So, you don’t think I should ask her?
Brian: No, no, no way. No way, because if she gives up her dream for you then you’ll pay for it the rest of your life, and brother, you’re gonna be at the end of her leash, and the collar’s not gonna be around your neck.
Joe: Ouch.
Brian: Right. Now, trust me.
Joe: Yeah, you’re right.
Brian: Yeah.
Joe: I can’t ask her to stay.
Brian: Yeah. That’s using your bean, because if you did then every time you wanted to have your own way you’d hear that little voice behind you goin’…

Brian mimics Helen’s voice.

Brian: Joe. Joe. Joe.

Brian leaves the hangar. Helen enters the hangar.

Helen: Joe.

Joe whose back is turned is startled.

Joe: Hi, what’s up?
Helen: Well, I’ve been thinking about this job, and how it’s gonna affect us, and I know all that stuff about long-distance relationships, and well, when you get right down to it, this orchestra is not that great.
Joe: So, what are you saying?
Helen: That I might be willing to give up this job if you’d just ask me to stay.
Joe: Don’t you think you have to make that decision for yourself?
Helen: I could, but I wouldn’t want to give up this job for our future, and then find out we didn’t have one.
Joe: Well, I—I can’t ask you to give up your dream for me. You—you’d resent me for the rest of your life.
Helen: Oh, gosh, are you crazy I would never do that?
Joe: Oh, no, you may—you say that now, but down the road, when you’re old, and bitter, and fat, standing behind that counter making your eighth billionth tuna sandwich thinking about the way things could’ve been, who do you think you’re going to blame, huh?
Helen: What makes you think I’m gonna be fat?
Joe: Just a guess. You know how you eat when you’re depressed.
Helen: You know what I think? I think this smells like a compliment to you, and you’re afraid to make one.
Joe: Oh, no, now, don’t be ridiculous. I am committed to us. I—I want us to be together.
Helen: Well, come to Maine with me then.

Joe laughs and tries to hug Helen.

Joe: “Come to Maine with me,” she says.

Helen pulls away.

Helen: Excu—
Joe: I can’t do that.
Helen: Why not?

Joe stammers.

Joe: Well, I’ve got a business to run. It has taken me years to get to this point.
Helen: Oh, it’s okay for me to give up my job for you, but for you to give up something for me, that’s funny.
Joe: No, no, I—I—
Helen: Why is it that the man, his career is always more important than the woman’s?
Joe: Now, look, it’s just that I—I never thought that—
Helen: You never thought that I might get a job? All that practicing, it never occurred to you that I might get a job and leave?
Joe: Frankly, no. It always seemed a remote possibility at best.
Helen: Well, that’s what you know, because my career is goin’ places. Unlike your little dinky one-plane operation you got goin’ here. I’m not giving up my shot at the big time for you!

Helen razzes.

Joe: Oh, Maine is the big time all of a sudden? You’ll be lucky if you’re playing to three paying customers, and a moose.
Helen: At least I’ll be playing music.
Joe: Your life is machines and—and fuel tanks, and airplane engines.

Helen goes over to the tool cabinet.

Helen: This is what you love. Scraps of metal!

Helen throws the nuts and bolts.

Joe: You just mixed nuts and bolts!
Helen: Oh, Joe! I’m so terribly, terribly sorry. How can I rectify this horrible wrong?

Helen throws more scraps of metal on the floor.

Helen: Whoops!
Joe: Hey! Are you crazy? Pick those up.
Helen: Oh! I can’t believe what’s happening here. A—a doomed romance you can shrug off, but messin’ up your hardware bin, Boy, that’s really ripping your guts out!
Joe: Yeah, ok, ok, Missy. Two can play at this game.

Joe walks out the hangar, and to the lunch counter.

Lowell: Hi, Joe.
Joe: Hi, Lowell.
Fay: Oh, uh, Joe, I have some checks here for you to sign.
Joe: Later, Fay.

Joe enters the lunch counter’s kitchen. Seconds later he comes out carrying a stack of plates.

Brian: Forgot this one.

Brian hands Joe his plate.

Joe: Thanks.

Joe makes his way back to the hangar.

Lowell: How about those Bo Sox?
Joe: Amazing, huh?

Joe returns to the hangar. He places the stack of plates on top of his hardware bin. He takes a plate and throws it on the floor.

Joe: How do you like that?
Helen: Doesn’t bother me.
Joe: Oh. Hey! Well, try this on for size.

Joe takes three plates, and throws them consecutively.

Helen: Oh, thanks, that’s three less I have to wash today.
Joe: Well, I could do this all day.

Joe throws the rest of the plates on the floor.

Joe: Plenty more where that came from.
Helen: Go ahead, Joe.
Joe: All right.
Helen: But, Joe…are you sure you want me to leave me alone in here?

Helen leans on the wing of Joe’s plane.

Joe: What are you gonna do?
Helen: Gee, I don’t know.
Joe: Helen, get away from the plane.

Helen is now leaning against the plane’s nose.

Helen: Uh-uh. I’m gonna get my oily fingers all over your plane.

Helen taps her fingers on the side of the plane.

Helen: Look, fingerprints.
Joe: Cut that out. Hey, hey, hey! I just cleaned those.
Helen: Oh, lookie here, grease! How about that?

Helen grabs a can of grease, then wipes grease all over the plane.

Helen: Much better!

Joe grunts.

Helen: See, this is our problem, Joe. You care more about this stupid plane than you do about me!
Joe: Me? You’re the one with the cello between her legs eight hours a day.
Helen: Well, at least that gives me some satisfaction.
Joe: Yeah, well, at least when I’m in the plane, I get some sense of movement.

Helen grabs an ice pick.

Joe: Helen, what are you…what are you gonna…

Helen runs towards the plane. Joe tries to catch her, but Helen is already at the plane’s tire threatening to stab it.

Joe: Oh, no. No, no, you wouldn’t.
Helen: Oh, no?
Joe: Ok, all right.

Joe runs to his hardware bin, and takes a pair of pliers.

Joe: You wanna play hardball?

Joe grabs Helen’s cello.

Joe: You stab the plane. The cello here gets it.
Helen: Let the cello go, Joe, and nobody gets hurt.
Joe: You put that ice pick down or this cello is gonna be playing in the violin section.
Helen: You don’t think I’ll do it, do you?
Joe: No.
Helen: Guess again.

Helen stabs the tire, and it begins hissing. Joe screams.

Joe cuts the cello’s strings. Helen screams. Joe laughs.

Joe: Yes!

While Joe’s back is turned, Helen grabs the grease gun. Joe turns around, and immediately Helen squirts grease on him.

Helen: You’re messy, Joe. You’re messy, messy, messy.
Joe: I cannot believe you did this to me. I—I can’t believe you—

Helen squirts grease on Joe’s face.

Helen: Believe, Joe, believe.
Joe: You lousy, snot-faced…

Helen continues squirting, while Joe grabs a fire extinguisher. Joe sprays foam on Helen. Helen screams. Joe continues to spray foam at her. Helen continues to scream.

Helen: Truce! Truce!

Joe gives her one last spray of foam.

Helen: Look at us! We’re acting like children! This is so ridiculous. Put he fire extinguisher down.
Joe: You put the grease gun down first.

Helen puts down the grease gun. Joe sets down the fire extinguisher.

Helen: Oh, honey.

Helen goes over to Joe to give him a hug, but grabs the fire extinguisher instead. Helen sprays him with foam. Joe grabs her to take the fire extinguisher from her.

Joe: I’m glad you’re leaving this island!
Helen: Not as glad as I am, you little uptight prig.
Joe: Oh, yeah?

Joe and Helen are now on the floor with Joe on top of Helen.

Joe: Well, you’re a –you’re a lousy cellist!

Helen screams.

Joe: You couldn’t even beat a twelve-year old girl!
Helen: I can’t believe I spent three months of my life with a loser like you! I’m gonna foget you in five minutes.
Joe: Yeah, I forgot you already!
Helen: I hate you!
Joe: I hate you, too!

Joe and Helen try to get up, but both keeps on slipping on the slippery foam covered floor.
Fay enters the hangar followed by Lowell and Roy.

Fay: Uh, excuse me, Helen, I’m sorry to interrupt, but there’s a call for you. Uh…it’s the conductor of the Maine State Symphony.
Helen: Excuse me.

Helen struggles to walk towards Fay who is holidng the phone.
Fay holds the receiver for Helen. Helen clears her throat.

Helen: Hello? Yes.

Helen pants.

Helen: I understand. I see. Thank you.

Fay hangs up the phone.

Helen: They lost their funding. There’s no orchestra. There’s no job.
Fay: Oh, Helen, I’m so sorry. But there is a bright side. You and Joe still have each other.

The next day, Helen is tidying up the lunch counter when Joe arrives.

Joe: You’re hear awfully early.
Helen: Yeah.
Joe: Uh, Helen.

Helen clears her throat.

Joe: About yesterday…
Helen: Yes, Joe?
Joe: Some things were said, and I realize you might’ve taken some of them the wrong way. What I mean is I…I really didn’t mean them.
Helen: I said some things I didn’t mean, too.

Helen walks away, and goes to the lunch counter. Joe follows her.

Joe: So, hey, what do you think? Can we get back to where we were?
Helen: Where were we, Joe?
Joe: I don’t know, but it’s better than where we are now.
Roy on P.A.: Announcing final boarding of Aeromass Flight 19, our early bird service to La Guardia.
Helen: Oh, that’s my plane.
Joe: Where are you going?
Helen: I’m leaving Nantucket.
Joe: What?
Helen: I’m leaving, Joe. I was all set to move to Maine, anyway. I’d already sublet my house and I found someone to take over the counter.
Joe: W-wait. You—you…

Joe stammers.

Joe: What are you gonna do?
Helen: I’m gonna do what I should’ve done a long time ago. Take a chance. I’m gonna do my music full-time. I’m going to New York.

Helen turns her back on Joe, and prepares to leave with her cello in tow.

Helen: Bye, Roy.
Roy: Bye, Helen, and thanks for flying Aeromass.

Joe runs for Helen.

Joe: Hey! Wait a minute. You were just gonna leave without even telling me?
Helen: Well, I knew that you would try to stop me.
Joe: Look, uh, Helen, this is an awfully big step. Do you, um, you got a job?
Helen: No.
Joe: Do you have a place to stay?
Helen: No.
Joe: In New York? Now, Helen, you have not even thought this thing through.
Helen: No, I haven’t and that’s what feels so good, Joe. Every musician worth his salt has to take a shot at New York. If I can make it there, I can make it any…well, you know.

Helen walks out the gate. Joe tries to stop her.

Joe: Helen, just wait. Wait. I couldn’t ask you this yesterday, but I am asking you now. Please, stay.

Helen smiles at Joe.

Helen: I can’t, but thank you for asking.
Joe: Helen…I love you.
Helen: I love you, too.

Helen leaves.

This is not the actual script. This is my own transcription of the episode. The “Duet for Cello and Plane” episode was written by Philip LaZebnik. Wings is owned by CBS Studios Inc., Paramount Pictures and Grub Street Productions.

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