Monday, August 6, 2007

And Mother Makes Four - Three's Company Transcript 1.2

Chrissy, Mrs. Snow, Janet and the soaking wet Jack TripperJanet is watering the plants on the coffee table when Chrissy enters the living room.

Chrissy: Well, I put up the clean curtains.
Janet: Oh, Chrissy.
Chrissy: I sure hope Jack likes them.
Janet: You’re going to spoil him.
Chrissy: No, I’m not. I just think if he’s coming to live here, we ought to make him feel at home.
Janet: Well, I did my bit – I put the toilet seat up.
Chrissy: I just want to make his room more attractive.   Continue reading...

Janet’s water sprinkler ran out of water and goes to the kitchen.

Janet: Ugh!

Chrissy takes the plant Janet was watering and enters Jack room.

Chrissy: I always say it’s little homey touches that make a home homier.
Janet: Chrissy, the man is coming from the YMCA.

Janet not realizing Chrissy took the plant started pouring water on the empty side table.

Janet: If we stick him in a broom closet he will feel at home.
Chrissy: I still think that – why are you watering the table?
Janet: Oh, oh, I could have sworn that –
Chrissy: Oh, I put the plant in Jack’s room. It’ll brighten things up for him.
Janet: Oh, well, let’s don’t brighten things up too much.
Chrissy: You mean you don’t want me to be nice to him?
Janet: Oh, sure I do. It’s just – you know how you are. Every time you think you think you’re doing the right thing, you end up giving the guy the wrong idea.
Chrissy: You’re right, I’ll watch it.

Chrissy bends down to fix the magazines on the floor, while Janet looks worried at Chrissy’s behind.

Janet: So, will Jack.
Chrissy: What are you doing?
Janet: Just stamping out Jack’s name for the mailbox.
Chrissy: But then he’ll know Jack’s living here.
Janet: Chrissy, the mailman is supposed to know who lives here.
Chrissy: Not the mailman, my father. You know how he carried on when I moved here from Fresno to Los Angeles. “Sin City” he calls it. I mean if he finds out I’m living with a guy –
Janet: Hey, he doesn’t have to know.
Chrissy: He know’s everything.
Janet: Oh, Chrissy, your father is just a minister, he’s not God.

The sound of thunder startles Janet, while Chrissy gives an “I told you so” look.

Janet: Oh.
Chrissy: See?

There’s a knock on the door.

Janet: The weatherman said there’d be thunderstorms tonight. Oh, Mr. Roper, our smiling landlord.

Mr. Roper enters the room.

Mr. Roper: I’m here to fix your doorbell.

He is followed by Mrs. Roper carrying a small ladder.

Janet: And Mrs. Roper.
Mrs. Roper: I’m caddying.
Mr. Roper: Would have been here sooner, but I’ve been very busy.
Mrs. Roper: Yeah, busy napping on your armchair.
Mr. Roper: I wasn’t napping in my armchair. I was watching television with my eyes closed. When I want to sleep, I go to bed.
Mrs. Roper: And when he goes to bed, he wants to sleep.
Mr. Roper: What’s wrong with that?
Mrs. Roper: Oh, fix the doorbell, Stanley. It’s time somebody’s chimes were rung in this house.
Mr. Roper: You know, it’s too bad your fairy roommate ain’t checked in yet.
Janet: Why?
Mr. Roper: He could fix this without a ladder – just fly up here.
Mrs. Roper: Stanley was born with that sense of humor, that and a few other birth defects.
Mr. Roper: Here’s your problem right here. See these wires? They’re loose.
Mrs. Roper: Isnt’ that brilliant?
Mr. Roper: How’d they get loose?
Chrissy: Maybe it’s like shoe laces, if you don’t tie the bows tight –
Mr. Roper: Wires don’t get loose all by themselves, you know.
Mrs. Roper: Stanley be careful! They’re live.
Mr. Roper: I know what I’m doing. I just want to get to the bottom of this. You’ve been playing around with these wires?
Janet: Girls got tot have some fun.
Mrs. Roper: All right, Captain Queeg, you got your confession – now make the bell go “ding-dong”.

Outside, the cab driver walks to the door followed by Jack.

Jack: Thanks for helping me with my stuff from the cab. You don’t have to take them inside.
Cab driver: I wasn’t going to.
Jack: Look, I’m sorry about that jar of pickled onions I broke in your cab, but if you keep all the windows open, the smell should be gone in about –
Cab driver: A month.
Jack: Yeah, with any luck.
Cab driver: That’s $2.75.
Jack: Oh, yeah, I got it right here.

Jack rings the doorbell, while Mr. Roper yells out of pain. The cab gives a startled wide-eyed look.

Jack: Interesting doorbell.

Jack rings it a second time. Inside the house…

Mr. Roper: Aah! Ow, ow, ow…

Mr. Roper squirms in pain as Mrs. Roper watch him flap his hands still holding the live wires. Outside, Jack gives the cab driver a look of uncertainty. The cab driver gives back his fare.

Cab driver: I didn’t hear nothing, I didn’t see nothing, and I don’t know nothing.
Mr. Roper: Oh, oh.
Chrissy: What happened?

Finally, Mr. Roper let’s go of the live wires and start shaking his hands.

Mrs. Roper: He’s trying to tell you someone’s ringing the doorbell.

Chrissy goes to open the door.

Chrissy: Hi, Jack, come on in.
Janet: Hi.
Mr. Roper: Couldn’t you knock?
Mrs. Roper: I better get him to bed, while he’s still moving.
Mr. Roper: I don’t want to go to bed, I want to watch “Name that Tune”.
Mrs. Roper: That’s his favorite program. Ever since he guessed the “Star Spangled Banner” in seven notes.
Chrissy: What about the doorbell?
Mr. Roper: I’ll fix it later, unless the interior decorator here would like to do it?

He goes over to Jack.
Jack: I’m not an interior decorator.
Mr. Roper: No? I thought all you f-fellows were.
Jack: What fellas?
Mr. Roper: You know, tinkerbells?

Mr. Roper raises his right arm and shakes his right hand with his pinky up.

Jack: Oh, I see what you mean.

Jack looks over Janet and Chrissy.

Jack: No actually, not all of us are interior decorators, some of us are boxers.
Mr. Roper: No kidding.
Jack: No kidding.
Mr. Roper: You mean you’d actually hit another guy?
Jack: Oh, only if he made fun of us.

Jack brings his hands together and cracks his knuckles. By now, Mr. Roper starts to look scared and makes his way out the door.

Chrissy: We’ll get your bags in.
Jack: No, wait, you don’t have to do that.
Chrissy: Well, it’s only fair. If it were my bags, you would have to carry them.

Chrissy goes out to get the bags following Janet who already went out to get them. Jack looks to face Mrs. Roper.

Jack: That almost makes sense, doesn’t it?
Mrs. Roper: We hope you’ll be very happy here, dear.
Jack: Well it beats the YMCA.
Mrs. Roper: Oh, yes, nothing but men, isn’t it? I can imagine what it must be like. As a matter of fact, I often have.

Janet comes back struggling with several heavy duffle bags, while Chrissy behind her carrying Jack’s three books.

Janet: There you go.

Chrissy hands Jack his books. Jack utterly pleased.

Jack: Oh, thank you, Chrissy.

Janet pouts and looks like she’s ready to explode.

Jack: I’ll just put these in my room.
Mrs. Roper: Oh, you can do that later.
Mrs. Roper: Look, I’m going down to the Regal Beagle for a glass of wine. Why don’t you all join me? My treat.
Jack: No thanks, I – the what Beagle?
Mrs. Roper: Regal Beagle.
Chrissy: It’s a pub just like they have in England.
Janet: Yeah, they’ve been opening up all over the area.
Mrs. Roper: Yeah, real cozy, you know, a little wine, a little bread, a little thou?
Jack: No, thanks. I’ve got an early class tomorrow. Not tonight.
Mrs. Roper: Not tonight, oh.

Mrs. Roper makes her way to the door.

You know that’s a perfect title for my autobiography?

Mrs. Roper turns and leaves.

Jack: Well, here I am.
Chrissy: Yes you are, aren’t you?
Janet: Put it there.

Janet moves closer to Jack with her right hand extended. Jack extends her hand to her.

Janet: Not your hand, the rent.
Jack: Huh?
Janet: You do have your share of next month’s rent, don’t you?
Jack: Yeah, why?
Chrissy: We need it to pay last month’s rent.
Janet: Mr. Roper doesn’t believe in charity.
Jack: Speaking of Roper, how long do I have to go on letting him think I’m gay?
Janet: Oh, as long as you live here. That’s the only way he’ll allow it.

He turns to look at Chrissy.

Jack: Well, just as long as you know different.

Chrissy looks flattered.

Janet: Chrissy. Don’t you have something to do?
Chrissy: Oh, yeah. Come in the kitchen and show me what you’ve got.
Jack: Now?
Janet: She emans the groceries.
Jack: Oh, yeah.

The phone rings.

Janet: You get that Chrissy, we’ll take care of these.
While Chrissy is on the phone, Janet and Jack proceed to the kitchen with the groceries.

Janet: Okay, what are you making for dinner tonight?
Jack: Something I learned in class today – veal parmesan with a side dish of luscious fettuccini.
Janet: Oh, I just gained five pounds hearing about it. Do you always carry your pickled onions loose?

Janet eats one of the loose pickled onions.

Jack: No they spilled out on the floor of the cab.

Janet spits the onion she just put in her mouth.

Jack: Well, I was going to wash them.

Janet hands over the onion to Jack. Chrissy enters the kitchen in a panic

Chrissy: Janet!
Janet: What?
Chrissy: That was my mother on the phone; she’ll be here in a few minutes.
Janet: What’s she doing in L.A.?
Chrissy: Oh, she went to see her dentist. If she finds out – I mean two girls living in an apartment with a man, you know what she’ll think.
Jack: Oh, come on, Chrissy, people are doing it all over the place.
Chrissy: That’s what she’ll think.
Janet: Well, I thought that your father was the problem?
Jack: Your father’s living with two girls?
Chrissy: We’ve got no time. I’ll put his stuff away. You take him down to the Regal Beagle, and keep him there until I call and tell you mother’s gone, okay?
Janet: Right.

Quickly, Chrissy leaves the kitchen.

Janet: Ok, let’s go.
Jack: Do I have to?
Janet: Oh, you’ll love it there – the beer is flat, but the barmaid’s not.
Jack: Move ‘em out.

At the Regal Beagle, Mrs. Roper is playing darts when Jack and Janet arrive. She meets them and leads the two to her table.

Mrs. Roper: Oh, hello.
Janet: Oh, hey.
Mrs. Roper: Come on, sit down.
Janet: Thank you.
Mrs. Roper: Have a drink.
Waitress: Hi.
Janet: Hi.
Waitress: What will it be?
Janet: Uh, white wine for me.

Waitress with a large bosom turns to Jack.

Waitress: And you?
Jack: I’ll have a couple of –

Jack is distracted with the woman’s chest and finds it hard to concentrate.

Jack: Ah -- one beer is fine.
Waitress: Coming up.
Jack: She’s so healthy.
Janet: Down, boy.
Jack: I knew it.
Mrs. Roper: You’re not gay, are you?
Jack: Huh? Oh, uh…
Mrs. Roper: Oh, come on, I won’t give you away.
Jack: No, I’m not.
Mrs. Roper: I thought so.

Mrs. Roper is laughing, happy and relieved

Jack: I’m as normal as Mr. Roper.
Mrs. Roper: Don’t spoil it.
Janet: But you don’t have to worry, Mrs. Roper, there is nothing going on in our apartment.
Jack: Nothing.
Mrs. Roper: There’s nothing going on in ours either.

Back in the apartment, Chrissy’s mother arrives.

Chrissy: Hello, mother.
Mrs. Snow: Oh, I’ve never seen such traffic –
Chrissy: Hello, mother.
Mrs. Snow: -- and these L.A. cabs are terrible. They smell of pickled onions.
Chrissy: Hello, mother.
Mrs. Snow: Oh, hello, darling. My poor feet. Oh, you’ve had the carpet cleaned.
Chrissy: No, the walls just got dirtier.
Mrs. Snow: Oh, that’s nice, dear.
Chrissy: I’ll fix you something to eat.
Mrs. Snow: Oh, no thanks, I can’t stay long. I have to catch the 10:45 bus back to Fresno.
Chrissy: Wonderful!
Mrs. Snow: What?
Chrissy: I mean, you look wonderful. How’s father?
Mrs. Snow: Oh, he’s fine dear, but he worries about you. We both worry about you living in this terrible town. Are you sure you want to stay here with all the crimes and the muggings?
Chrissy: Oh mother, it’s not really –
Mrs. Snow: Oh, I’ve read all about the wild parties and orgies, people running around without any clothes on.
Chrissy: Where would you read a thing like that?
Mrs. Snow: In your father’s church magazine.
Chrissy: Mother, I wouldn’t know an orgy if I fell over one.
Mrs. Snow: Oh, try not to do that, dear. By the way, how are those nice girls you room with? Janet and Eleanor, isn’t it?
Chrissy: Oh, Janet’s fine. Eleanor left to get married.
Mrs. Snow: How nice. Did you get another girl for her room?
Chrissy: No, no, we didn’t get another girl.
Mrs. Snow: That’s wonderful. No sense in my going back home this late. Now you can put me up for the night.

Mrs. Snow makes her way to one of the rooms. Chrissy unable to stop her beats the couch out of frustration.

Back at the Regal Beagle.

Jack: How much longer do I have to stay here?
Janet: Oh, just until Chrissy calls.
Jack: I’m kind of bushed, and I’d like to go to bed.
Mrs. Roper: Oh hey, honey, how about a game of darts?
Jack: Oh, no thanks, I don’t even know how to play.
Mrs. Roper: Oh, it’s easy. I’ll show you how to score.
Janet: Have another beer.
Jack: No, I want to go home to my own room to sleep in my own bed. I don’t want another beer.
Waitress: Would you like another beer?
Jack: Oh, yeah.
Waitress: Janet, there’s a phone call for you.
Janet: Oh, thank you. That’s got to be Chrissy.

Janet leaves the table to take the phone call.

Mrs. Roper: Well, I can see I’m out-gunned around here. Besides, I got to get home to make the cocoa for Omar Sharif.
Jack: Good night, Mrs. Roper.
Mrs. Roper: Good night, honey.

Mrs. Roper goes over to Janet who’s on the phone to bid goodbye.

Mrs. Roper: ‘night.
Janet: Oh, good night. What do you mean your mother’s staying? Where’s Jack going to sleep?
Chrissy: Well, there’s the bus station.
Janet: The cops will pick him up.
Chrissy: What about the 24-hour Laundromat?
Janet: The hookers will pick him up.
Chrissy: Janet, you’ve got to do something.
Janet: Me? Hey, it’s your mother.
Chrissy: Well if it was your mother, I’d do something.
Janet: Good. Then just pretend your mother is my mother and do it.

Janet hangs up. Mrs. Snow comes out of the bathroom.

Mrs. Snow: Well, dear, I think I’ll turn in early.
Chrissy: Oh, you can’t go to bed.
Mrs. Snow: Why not?
Chrissy: Well, we’ve hardly had a chance to talk.
Mrs. Snow: You’re right, let’s talk.
Chrissy: Not here.
Mrs. Snow: All right, shall we go into the kitchen?
Chrissy: What about a motel?
Mrs. Snow: A motel?
Chrissy: We don’t have to use our real names.
Mrs. Snow: Chrissy, you’re behaving very strangely.
Chrissy: Am I? Well, we just haven’t seen each other much lately. Which reminds me –

Chrissy gets her purse and makes her way to the door.

Mrs. Snow: Chrissy, where are you going?
Chrissy: Uh, I want to make your favorite salad and I need some carrots.
Mrs. Snow: Well, where are you going to find carrots this time of night?
Chrissy: Uh, there’s a machine on the corner.

Back at the Regal Beagle.

Jack: Look I’m sorry, I understand your problem. If I had any money I’d go to a hotel, but I just don’t have $20.00 to throw away.
Janet: Oh, well how about the all-night showing of “War and Peace” at the art theater? That’s only $3.00.
Jack: You’ve got to be kidding.
Janet: Oh, no, this is the eight hour version – the original one in Russian.
Jack: That is not a plus. Look, I’m sorry, I’m going back to the apartment.
Janet: Oh, but Chrissy’s mother’s going to be in the spare bed.
Jack: It is not the spare bed, it is my bed and I’m going back. I’m going to undress, I’m going to climb into my bed, and if anybody else is in there, that’s her problem.
Janet: Oh.

Jack makes his way out of the Regal Beagle when Chrissy arrives.

Jack: And you’re not stopping me either.

The two girls drag him onto the table.
Back at the apartment, Mrs. Snow comes out of the kitchen to find Mr. Roper fixing the doorbell.

Mr. Roper: Give me the screwdriver.

Mrs. Snow although startled hands the screwdriver to Mr. Roper.

Mr. Roper: Which mother are you?
Mrs. Snow: I’m Chrissy’s mother. I’m sleeping here tonight.
Mr. Roper: On the couch.
Mrs. Snow: No, in Eleanor’s old room.
Mr. Roper: Really? Well, I guess you’ll be safe enough.
Mrs. Snow: I’m sure I will.
Mr. Roper: Wouldn’t catch me sleeping in there.
Mrs. Snow: Well, I should hope not.
Mr. Roper: Me? I’m a decent, normal man.
Mrs. Snow: I’m glad to hear it. Would you like some hot milk?
Mr. Roper: you got anything stronger, like cocoa?
Mrs. Snow: I’ll see.
Mr. Roper: It’s my favorite drink before going to bed. Really helps you sleep. That’s a medically proven fact.
Mrs. Snow: I believe you.
Mr. Roper: My wife doesn’t. You know what she tried to give me one night at bedtime? Wheaties. I mean, what did she expect me to do, hit a homerun?

At the Regal Beagle, the three sit on the table thinking.

Chrissy: Wait, I’ve got an idea.
Jack: I want my own bed.
Janet: You haven’t even heard it yet.
Jack: I want my own bed.
Chrissy: He could sleep in our room.
Jack: I wa – on the other hand, I don’t want to be unreasonable.
Chrissy: We could sneak him in. My mother won’t even know he’s there.
Jack: Him in the same room with us?
Chrissy: And you in the same room with him?
Jack: Look, I will be on my best behavior, honest.
Jack stands and helps Chrissy out of her chair.

Jack: Is the bed big enough for the three of us?

Chrissy sneaks inside the dark apartment and goes over the room her mother now occupies.

Chrissy: Okay, she’s asleep, come on.

Janet and Jack cautiously enters the apartment.

Janet: The door.

Jack hiccups.

Jack: Oh! I’m sorry, it’s those four glasses of (hiccup) beer.
Janet: Ssh! Come on!

The three makes their way to the girl’s bedroom.
Jack let’s out another hiccup.

Chrissy: Ssshh! You’ll wake up the whole neighborhood.
Jack: I’m sorry, if I can just get to the kitchen for a moment I’ve got a sure-fire method for curing this.
Chrissy: I don’t want you to leave this room.
Jack: Anything you say.

Jack pats Chrisy’s bed and sits on it. Janet pats on a chair by the dresser.

Janet: This is your bed, big time.
Jack: That’s what I figured.

The girls forgetting they’re not alone starts to undress, while Jack sits on the chair looking at them lustfully.

Janet: You can’t sit there while we get undressed.
Jack: Oh, I’m sorry. Will the view be better if I stand?

Jack hiccups.

Janet: Go cure your hiccups.
Jack: What ever happened to the sexual revolution?
Chrissy: Your side lost.

Jack leaves the room and Chrissy locks it. A resounding thunder erupts as Jack quickly makes his way to the kitchen.
Jack: (Hiccup!)

Mrs. Snow makes her way out of her room.
In the kitchen, Jack breathes in and out of a paper bag.
Mrs. Snow hears the heavy breathing and makes her way to the kitchen.

Mrs. Snow: Chrissy?!

Jack hides inside the broom closet. Mrs. Snow enters the kitchen and sees nobody. Contented she leaves and makes her way to the bathroom. Jack comes out of the closet and catches the falling mop just in time. Jack holding the mop makes sure that Mrs. Snow is not in sight. Mrs. Snow comes out of the bathroom, while he’s on his way to the girl’s room. Jack slips on the floor and goes unnoticed. Only the mop rested on the back of the couch. Mrs. Snow takes the mop and goes to the kitchen.

Mrs. Snow: Messy, messy!

Quickly Jack stands up to make his way to Janet and Chrissy’s room.

Jack: (Hiccup!)

Jack tries to open the door that Chrissy had locked. Mrs. Snow comes out of the kitchen. In a panic, he goes over to the lamp, puts the lampshade over his head and stands still. Mrs. Snow walks passed him. Chrissy comes out of the room.

Jack: (Hiccup!)

Startled. Chrissy screams!

Jack: (Hiccup!) Sssh!! You’re mother…
Chrissy: Will you get in here and quit playing games?
Jack: I’m cured – my hiccups are gone.
Janet: Good, go to sleep.
Jack: Right.

Janet turns off the light. Chrissy lies down on her bed, while Jack try to make do with his chair. There’s a banging noise.

Chrissy: What’s that?

Chrissy looks to Jack. Jack is tightly squeezed with his both legs up on the chair.

Jack: It’s not me, I never moved.

Janet turns the light back on.

Janet: Oh, it’s that window in the living room. Jack, would you mind closing it?
Jack: Suppose her mother sees me?
Chrissy: I’ll do it.

Chrissy sits up and looks to Jack..

Chrissy: Turn around.

Jack turns around and faces the mirror where he could still see everything.

Jack: That’s a lovely mole you’ve got on your thing.

Both Chrissy and Janet look at him. Jack waves at the mirror.

Chrissy: Watch him. He’s tricky.

Chrissy goes out to the living room. Jack jumps to her bed.

Jack: Boy, in that nightie she’s really something. I mean, everywhere you look at her, she’s a girl.
Janet: What am I, a gorilla?
Jack: You’re very bright.
Janet: Ah, more like a chimp.
Jack: No, Janet, I think you’re very cute.

Chrissy returns.

Chrissy: I can’t budge the window and it’s raining.
Jack: No, no, no, no, this is a job for the man of the house. I shall return, meanwhile, make yourselves beautiful for me.
Janet: Oh, of all the vain, arrogant, egotistical –
Chrissy: He’s kind of nice, though.
Janet: Yeah, he is, isn’t he?

In the living room, Jack tries to close the window by banging the side of it. Mrs. Snow comes out of her room.

Mrs. Snow: Chrissy, is that you?

Jack immediately goes out of the window. Mrs. Snow turns on the lights. Jack makes himself fall out of view. There’s a sound of thunder and Chrissy’s mother runs towards the open window.

Mrs. Snow: Oh, dear!

Mrs Snow effortlessly closes the window and even pulls the curtains. There’s a banging on the window.

Mrs. Snow: Chrissy! Chrissy!
Chrissy: What’s the matter?
Mr.s Snow: There’s someone out there.
Chrissy: That’s impossible.

Another bang on the window.

Mrs. Snow: Did you hear that?
Chrissy: No.

[Banging on the door]

Chrissy: I didn’t even hear that either.

[Banging on the door]
Janet runs to open the door and find Jack soaking wet.

Jack: I’ve had it. I don’t care whose mother –
Janet: Don’t blow it for Chrissy. Oh, hi, hi, come on in.
Chrissy: Hi, what a surprise.
Janet: Oh, this is Chrissy’s mother.
Jack: How do you do? I was just passing by and I thought I’d knock.
Mrs. Snow: Why?
Jack: Why? Oh, well, there’s an all-night showing of “War and Peace” down at the art theater and I thought maybe I’d invite the girls to come along with me, but silly me, I can see they’re ready for bed, so I’ll just mosey on my way.
Janet: Good night.
Jack: Good night.

Jack goes out the door.

Mrs. Snow: Wait! You’re not wearing any shoes.
Chrissy: It’s against his religion.
Janet: That is just like Jack – anything to be different. Good night, Jack.
Jack: Good night.
Mrs. Snow: Jack, you wouldn’t be Jack Tripper?
Jack: Do you want me to be?
Mrs. Snow: Chrissy, is this the young man who’s sharing the apartment with you?
Chrissy: Well, I – I – I
Mrs. Snow: Mr. Roper told me all about him. I thought he must be away since you let me have his room.
Chrisy: No mother, it’s not as bad as it looks.
Mrs. Snow: Yes dear, I know. It’s all right.
Janet: You mean that you don’t mind?
Mrs. Snow: Mind? I’m delighted! With all the terrible things that go on in this town, it’s such a relief to know that you have a man to protect you.
Jack: Oh.
Mrs. Snow: Or in this case, someone like Jack.
Jack: Well, I promise you, I’ll never let them out of my sight.
Mrs. Snow: Oh, thanks, Jack. I know I can trust you. Good night!
Jack: Good night!
Chrissy: Good night mom!
Janet: Good night.
Chrissy: Well, you’ve got to get out of those clothes.
Jack: I thought you’d never ask.

Jack removes his belt and tries to unbutton his pants.

Janet: Oh, now he can sleep on the sofa.

Janet pushes Jack and he falls over the sofa.

Janet: Good night, Jack.
Jack: Good night, Janet.
Chrissy: Good night, Jack.
Jack: Good night, Chrissy. Good night, John boy.

After much pausing and rewinding. Yahoo, it is done!!! This is not the actual script. This is my own transcription of the episode. The “And Mother Makes Four” episode was written by Don Nicholl, Michael Ross and Bernie West. Three’s Company is a registered Service Mark of Three’s Company (California Joint Venture of The NRW Company and T.T.C. Productions, Inc.)


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1 Pennies for your thoughts:

banini said...

My favorite scene here would be when Chrissy tells Jack to turn around and he obeys her only he faces the mirror where he still could see everything. Haha!